Need I.T Help!

[Simon]

FUCK THIS SHIT!!

i desperately need a new pc and printer, but they wont buy one. I have brought this to my bosses attention MANY times before.

time to get drastic, what can i do to "proper fuck" my work pc?

Other than opening the case and molesting the pcb's with a screwy.

I need to overload that piece of shit until it just refuses to boot up/do anything.

20mins to send an email or open any program is just ridiculous.

All my Antilagging is done via my own Macbook pro here at work btw.

[Justooon]

find a windows boot disc.
boot from cd.
format drive.
???????
Profit.

If you format the drive and dont re-install windows.. all you will get is an "unable to find bootable disc" style error.. black and white on the screen..

wont work if your boss is slightly on the ball. Will just get it fixed.

another suggestion would involve overclocking the pc.. and burning out the chip. But that involves getting the case open in most cases.

[pgc]

Lots of magnets surrounding the hard-drive

[R3N]

lemonparty.org

[KyeBidz]

Pull hard drive out of computer.
put in microwave for 2 seconds.
put back into machine.

voila

[yeahlow34]

Give it to AGIT8D.

[mitchy]

piss on it

[Simon]

ive put my steelcap's well into the side of that pos many times before.

about to do my block with it.

[RS_Gav]

Pull hard drive out of computer.
put in microwave for 2 seconds.
put back into machine.

voila

+1 for this! Take video too but.

[Niva]

just remove the hdd from the boot sequence via the bios, seen many techies anounce dead hdd over this.

if they fix it, do it again.

[SimonR32]

Pull hard drive out of computer.
put in microwave for 2 seconds.
put back into machine.

voila

Only 2 sec?

Would have thought it would have needed a bit more cook time :)

[protecon]

Accidentally unplug the power to the CPU fan?

[Alt_F4]

Tape up all vents, run prime95 torture test all day

[Mad_Aussie]

Go to Run > regedit.exe

Find ones that refer to 'system'

add letters and numbers

[dmwill]

Back of Power supply - should be a switch to chance the input from 240volt to 180 or whatever. Change to the latter and turn on PC. It will go BANG! and smell like toast.

[Mad_Aussie]

Back of Power supply - should be a switch to chance the input from 240volt to 180 or whatever. Change to the latter and turn on PC. It will go BANG! and smell like toast.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/95/273905804_776c9fb68f.jpg

make sure you switch it back to 240 before anyone looks at it though.

[Fujiwara13]

Delete system 32? If it doesn't work it'll at least make it run faster.

[///M]

Give it to AGIT8D.

hahaha! this ^^^

but seriously.. doing stuff to registry and system files will not make them get you a new computer lol they will just reinstall the operating system..

either do what kye said and microwave the HDD or.. try to do a firmware upgrade of the motherboard (bios) and while its doing it pull the power

[cplagz]

open side of case and insert large screwdriver across random traces on motherboard.

[shifted]

Delete files from System32.

[pgc]

Antilag.com

Where IT support matters.

[cplagz]

Deleting files/registry won't fix it. If they are organised all they will do is re-image the machine and it will be running again. You need proper breakage and the only way to do that is hardware tampering :D

[JNR man]

look up random porn sites get major viruses and plead innocent

[mitchy]

piss on it

^^ it gives you a nice tingling sensation in your doodle too

[YOUR MATE]

Give it to Kael.

BIOS update and plug removal would be a first good crack though. Or spill coffee on/in it.

[aussievr4]

At least if you kill windows and they reinstall it the problem might be fixed if it doesnt then id go with the power supply method or even try pour some water on the mobo while its running. Once the water dries no evidence that it was sabotaged.

[reznars14:)]

nerfing windows will just get fixed so waste of time.

pull out the hdd and squeeze it in the middle.

a little water in keyboard onto mobo = sizzle.

thump it. vibrations kill laptops

[Wozzernux]

Be a mad overclocker and feed the CPU lots of volts. If done right it will kill the chip and will never boot again, your tech guy will be scratching his head in bewilderment.

[Niva]

whats wrong with the pc?

[TJ]

I had coff33 fixing mine today.

Now its got shitty 14's on it. :)