Dumb Stuff You Have Done?

[Riggs]

A few I can remember off the top of my head. Most is pre 18yrs old.

Sort of blew up a portable toilet. Filled with lots of petrol & aerosol cans + anything flammable & lit it up, caught fire then a huge bang and shit (literally) went everywhere.

Got pulled up in MYER trying to steal wallets, sling them back into the store Babe Ruth style and claimed we didn't do shit.

Mates mum had to bail us out of lockup one night for being stupid.

Hooked portable flashing road signs up to my old Hilux, dropped them in some random spot.

Ripped a goal post out of the ground and rammed it through some sluts car, from window to window because she kicked a mates car door.

Made 11ty billion, sparkler bombs, chlorine bombs, soda bombs, spud guns, nail ging's. Windows broken, holes in fences etc.

Made napalm and lit it in a park for lol's, couldn't put it out. Fire & shit ensued.

Filmed a mate put on his mums underwear, cover himself in shaving foam and dance around the street.

Couple of our night time 'go and fuck shit up' escapades ended up in the paper.

Chucked a shit off the Mandurah traffic bridge, then jumped in it.

Did the whole Jackass thing around Mandurah & filmed it, consisted of;

Going into Big W and destroying many displays, security chased us out, went back in and did it again the next day.

Running flat out into public phone boxes while people were on the phone and pretend to be badly injured (we did end up pretty fucked a couple of times, blood etc)

Order red rooster or what ever is was down there, when food came, pull it out of the bag and throw it back over the counter and run out the door with shirt over head.

Drove as close as possible to busy bus stop standing up out of the passenger window, pissing.

Had a knife fight in a mates back yard with kitchen knives, stand on each end and take turns at throwing them at each others feet. How no one got cut I don't know.

Fucked a mates sister, in his bed. No longer mates.

Fucked some random in the shower because she was on her rags, once we'd finished I walk out hearing 2 of my mates yelling at each other as they were tag teaming her friend, one yells to the other "What the fuck man! Did you just cum in her?". I lol'd. Threw a garden gnome through her window as we left.

Ended up at some birds house for a root. Mate was getting stuck into her friend, mid root the boyfriend rocks up, ran like fuck. Mate stayed to finish the job.

Tried to do a backflip off an outdoor trampoline while drunk, landed in a bellyflop.

Threw half a bucket of petrol onto a bonfire thinking it was kero, lost a lot of hair.

Did lawn digs on a golf course, school ovals.

Post 18yrs can stay with me for now.

[Brockas]

LOL at all of that, especially the garden gnome through the window randomly.


I never knew you were such an asshole!

[SSICK]

Riggs, change your name to C UNT immediately.

[Riggs]

I was a bit shit at times. Still, I was always nice to my parents and old people.

[Buckets]

I was a bit shit at times. Still, I was always nice to my parents and old people.

Which is why there are Rigg's approved skids out the front of your mums house !

[hako]

Some stupid stuff in my early 20s mostly, like others on here I know I could have died several times over from dumb shit involving cars.

Never ridden motorbike before, took RGVFAST's RGV250 (of course) around the block. Once, yeah that was fine, will try it again.
Come to an intersection with a car coming, thought I would just pull out in front and power away, however, hit one of the powerbands and in my inexperience I sat up.
Caused the bike to straighten, cross onto other side of road, run up a kerb, over someones lawn and hit a pretty solid tree. Helmet also made contact with tree, scratches from tree branches and pretty much all front plastics smashed.
From memory I locked up back wheel across lawn, so could have been worse, especially if a car was coming the other way.

Grabbed a large double quarter pounder meal from Warwick maccas at about 1130pm on a random weeknight in mate's parents SV21 Camry. Driving down Beach road (I was front passenger) and see some clown riding an old mountain bike with no lights etc. Lobbed full coke at him as we went past, looked back but couldn't really tell if it hit him or not. Continue driving and thought nothing else of it.
Back at home fast asleep at about 130am, woken by phone call and then Dad knocking on my bedroom door, the Police are on the phone for me.
Turns out the guy on the bike worked at Police HQ East Perth in some capacity, and has accused me of throwing a beer bottle at him, hitting him square in the back.
Had to go down to Police HQ, got video interviewed and charged with assault. Went to court about a month later and got 6 month suspended sentence for assault, had to pay lawyers fee's, court costs and pay the guy compo for his back injury.
Can't remember exact cost but it was a fucking expensive mistake haha.

Another time caught by some concerned citizen doing lawn digs at a local park whilst also mowing down newly planted saplings.
Cops knock on door at some ungodly hour, actually got arrested and taken to cop shop in back of police car. Admitted my guilt, got done for Criminal Damage, court summons and had to pay the cost of getting trees replanted.
Another expensive mistake.

Could go into more detail, but several times holding a wheelie bin out of a moving car shit has gone bad. Definitely been hanging out of a cars that have lost control at least twice, maybe more, in the quest for higher bin launching speed.

Somehow came into possession of an old club steering lock and decided to go and look for a convertible etc to attach it to.
Went cruising to Hillarys car park on a Wednesday night, found a Suzuki Sierra soft top. Reached in and unlocked door, and put on steering lock, closed door and relocked.
Went and did other shit for an hour or so, drive back and theres some young chick balling her eyes out and an RAC patrolman desperately trying to hacksaw off the steering lock haha. So many laughs.

I've got more but another time haha.

[S85FI]

mid root the boyfriend rocks up

That's the worst..... particular when husband comes into the house and your still stiff as a 3" single system ready to blow and he storms through the house... knowing the deed is being done. I felt bad for this guy.... but not as bad as he felt. Mobiles were just in - and boy can some nasty dudes turn up.

If it looks like a drug lords house... it probably is.... and if he says she's single - she probably isn't.

[Niva]

None of the following is true I just want to fit in

When they were doing all the road works on Shenton ave in connolly we used to observe all the equipment, make a plan and execute it. would direct traffic in U turns etc. dead ends, so much funny watching people confused as fuck.

Fluro jacket fun, its amazing with a bit of confidence and a fluro jacket what you can get motorists to do.

Tied a industrial bin to the back of the lada with a chain and smashed it round winton ave, think fast and the furious when they are pulling the safe. was fun until the bin overtook us as we slowed down for the security car and ripped my whole rear bar section off.

Hit a gate in the lada in the middle of yanchep with the intention of getting over it, but a strange thing happened. the gate twisted, twisting the wire and some how launching one of the wooden posts about 10 meters in the air, came down on mates bonnet. he wasnt happy.

forgot my goat at a mates place

when I was about 15, had a mega crush on my mates mum and she often gave me a lift home. Had it in my head that if I just made a move she would be DTF. So, one night on the way to my place, just me and her I asked her to pull over. Told her that I wanted to ask her something, proceeded to get my dick out while asking "is this a normal size". she looked at my cock, looked at me and pulled back onto the road. Mate called me the next day to say I wasnt welcome there anymore, but he didnt know why. still doesnt.

got a prozie to finger my ass, must of had dirty nails or some shit as infection came soon after.

[kyle_340]

when I was about 15, had a mega crush on my mates mum and she often gave me a lift home. Had it in my head that if I just made a move she would be DTF.



fucking lol, real life is not the same as porn

[_S9_]

Turned the window washers around on my car (facing the kerb)

Squirted important looking cunce in business suits on their way to work at the bus stop.

/badass.

[Evman]

LMFAO at "the move" on your mate's Mum

[Niva]

the wank I had when I got home, knowing she had seen my junk... worth it

[Jase]

Cant think of anything too bad just now, but small list, mainly primary school shit:


Set fire to my primary school, sprung by principal

Not too long after set fire to my yard (country property), had to call fire brigade.

Dont really regret throwing everyones lunch into the classroom fans at high speed, was pretty fun, but the scissors were a bad idea

In year 5 I super glued the stinky girls bag closed and threw it on the roof. Realise now she had something wrong with here and was from a poor family.

Made a wicked pea shooter type thing with elastic bands, aimed for stinky girl, took shot, bit of unexpected spin on the projectile and watched like it was slow motion as it curved around and hit the teacher in the face

Rode our bikes on my primary school roof, was going pretty well until a wheel went through a sky light

Stabbed holes in all the schools balls for no reason, sprung.

Tried lighting canteen stove for no apparent reason in primary school, took to long and a small fire ball ensued, hair, curtains and other plastic items in the room were bit fire damaged after than.

Shooting random things, had bullets come back past as well.

Got plastered and drove my EA Falcon, v8 supercar style, around in the rain. Hit a bus.

Still feel bad about getting dropped home by pollice to my mum a few times, once she had been calling around to try find me for some time, and was stressing out (pre mobile phone)

After a few beers used jerry can to light fire, ended up pouring flames around everywhere until jerry can went out. Covered the burn marks with grass clippings for rent inspection

Had done something dumb after few beers and went to make quick getaway, forgot there was a drop off and landed on my face and was out cold for a while.

Every bird I have chatted up but was too drunk, or retard, to seal the deal.

And I rooted a ugly ranga too see if rangas have red pubes, saw she was clean shaven, still gave it a stoke.

[Jase]

I also pooped in the urinal, whole school got detention until some random guy owned up lol

[S85FI]

Turned the window washers around on my car (facing the kerb)

Squirted important looking cunce in business suits on their way to work at the bus stop.

/badass.

Filled mates washer bottle with chock milk on a trip down south.... thought it was funny as ... until we hit a gravel road....he hot the squirters and the dust stuck to the windscreen like no tomorrow... Crash was iminate....

Revenge was sweet... My hire car was dressed up like we were married. Got out in the morning from our hotel rooms...staying in a pub.... two blokes getting out of a room in jocks... not a good look...

[shifted]

Got suspended about 6 times during year 12. Then got expelled. After being arrested. Mother was not happy. Dad just threw condoms at me and said to start smashing pussy instead of being a dropkick, respect him for that, I was expecting to cop an absolute flogging.

Streaked down the street at home for a good km, running past small parks full of people with families and people driving by all the while why mates are filming and beeping as they drive along drawing attention. All because I lost a bet.

Went down to Mandurah with 4 mates for a birthday, had a hotel room. Brought a girl back and fucked, afterwards I walked down stairs and brought a mate up for round 2 because she let slip she always wanted a threesome. Eventually one mate after another went and kinda tag-teamed in and out of the room she was in. She went through all 5 of us by the end of the night, absolute trooper and said to call her again next time we are down. Best moment was walking out on the way out to the car park and there was a car with [5CUMMINGS] on the plates - made us lose our shit. Made sure to get an STD check though after and thank fuck it came up clean, was worried for a while.

Nang bombs and shit were the norm for a while... ended up one night at Trigg Beach and we thought we would chuck one in the bin in the carpark... 2 cops cars rocked up as we set it in there with fuse lit and they start asking us what we put in there and start searching for it. We shat hard thinking what the fuck do we do if it goes off??? Run??? 2 coppers searched through there for a good 30 seconds and luckily it DIDN'T go off... they breathalysed those driving and off we went. Thought we were lucky as.

Stealing road signs etc.. normal thing. Ended up moving some empty blockades also (those water filled plastic things from Coates) across a street that had a left turn lane, people were turning in and then had to stop, was fun watching them take a couple minutes to think about what to do and reverse back out. Hung around a little too long though and further down the road was pulled up by coppers, nothing happened though.

Left a nang in a portable toilet and nothing happened so we left it. Driving past maybe 10-15min later and it was completely ablaze to the point the smoke in the sky was seen from streets away, ended up putting it out by covering it in sand. Was worried for weeks we were going to be done for it and didn't do that again. Ever.

Was at a club waiting at the bar and about a metre from us were bottles behind the bar on a shelf. Told my mate next to me to just grab a bottle and run (he was pretty much legless already) - he got away with it, hid it under his shirt and sat down a couple metres away going "what the fuck do I do with it" - ended up with all of us there (about 5 of us) finishing that off as quickly as possible in the toilets before security came in looking for us. Ended up getting away with it without a problem, not something we've repeated though.

Was working in retail and this bird came in and kept asking me the same stuff for a good hour or so, simple shit (something about plugging one device into something else) and kept saying things like "can you do it for me", "can you come by and install this", "if I have trouble with it can I call you" - I copped shit for weeks from coworkers who kept standing nearby and listening in as apparently I "couldn't take the hint" - I'm shit at reading situations in general, so I thought nothing of it.

At a mate's party was bored and swinging a golf club at a tree for shits and giggles. Mate came by and I completely missed, he copped the full force in the abdomen. I don't know how, but he didn't move, took him a good 30 seconds to go "did you just hit me?" - not a bruise or anything and kept partying into the night.

Took a 4cyl beast through a bunch of soccer fields we used to play on, didn't realise when it was so dark that there were staff pickets - left pretty quickly after a couple of those were hit.

Probably more, I was a shit kid there for a couple years, nothing that bad really reading what is on here haha

[DAN [GTI]]

Dad just threw condoms at me and said to start smashing pussy instead of being a dropkick, respect him for that, I was expecting to cop an absolute flogging.


http://buffman.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/like_a_boss_meme.jpg

[XT43]

Stumbled out of the leedy on a Sunday night when I was an obnoxious 18 year old blind drunk, crossed the road and started eating a couples food off their table who were romantically dining outside.
Picked up a plate with bruschetta on it and started walking down the street only to be rounded up by a couple of undercover police. Irate couple caught up, police were cool and said to just pay them some money and go home.
I said since I was paying for it, I should finish it first so proceeded to jam about 3 big pieces in my mouth and within a second the coppers were placing me under arrest for stealing. Couldn't plead my case cos I had so much food stuck in my mouth and it wouldn't matter anyway as by this time about half a dozen uniforms had formed a circle around me. I called the chick who's dinner I'd interrupted a fat pig and that I was doing her a favour as I was being led away, natural reaction to being grabbed was to pull away, at this stage I was informed that I was being charged with resisting arrest also. I figured that I could only get done for resisting arrest once so proceeded to make the most of the charge by lasting a good half hour until I just gave up and fell into the meat wagon exhausted.
Got taken out to east perth lockup and taken in to the bit where they back the wagon up to, was greeted by a copper behind a raised desk area who wanted my ID. I pulled my licence out of my pocket and did the old card flick manouver to watch it fly through the air for half the length of the room in slow motion and hit him square between the eyes.
Wasn't such a good move in hindsight since I was then bundled up and having my belt and shoes ripped off and chucked in solitary for a few hours.
I woke up Monday morning thinking it was all a bad dream and I noticed a crumpled up piece of paper on my desk, opened it out to read that it was a summons to court and that the dream was true..
Went to court after packing my court clothes in a bag and changing at a mates house so i didn't have to tell the folks, got a mate of a mate from footy to represent me in court, should have just plead guilty as I needed to go to court again a couple of times. Realised a few years later that the mate of a mate was just some shit kicker legal aid spec lawyer who was still wet around the ears so I had to pay him, all the fines and court costs plus an awesome stealing charge.
So proud.

[devilfish]

High centered a Land Rover on an unexploded 1000Lb bomb.... Poor Rover....

[Brockas]

when I was about 15, had a mega crush on my mates mum and she often gave me a lift home. Had it in my head that if I just made a move she would be DTF. So, one night on the way to my place, just me and her I asked her to pull over. Told her that I wanted to ask her something, proceeded to get my dick out while asking "is this a normal size". she looked at my cock, looked at me and pulled back onto the road. Mate called me the next day to say I wasnt welcome there anymore, but he didnt know why. still doesnt.

L

O

L

[S85FI]

L

O

L

Lets hear a story from Brockas.... ??? and it can be fake... :)

[mr_mike]

was at a party in como when they were putting the train line down the middle of the freeway so there was heaps of road works going on. Full off piss we stumbled out onto the freeway and moves them orange and while barriers about into a chicane and chucked a couple witches cones in the middle. After watchin a couple taxis lock up and skid down the road we went out to move the barriers again this time i think we must of made a chicane that aimed straight at the concrete center barrier, hopped back over the fence and waited. A red laser hatch back came along at speed next minute was sideways cones flying everywhere then slammed hard into the concrete barrier. Of course we shat bricks and bailed back up to the party up the road. A short time later these 2 massive bikie lookin dudes came storming into the party demanding to know who was fucking about with the road works stuff on the freeway. These guys were ready for blood i can only assume it must of been a friend/wife/daughter in the laser. Either way everyone denied any knowledge and me and a couple of mates sat there shittin ourselves. luckily they fuct off without incident.

[Faz]

So many stories.

Bought a $75 31 unregod when we were 15, we then proceded to drive it to bunbury at 3am and park in some random street me and a mate slept in the car so that his parents wouldn't get suspicious.

With said 31 proceed to steal trailer and drive around at night throwing shit out of it. Was garvage collection so plenty of stuff to get. After throwing a tv out at 70 the sides proceed to fall off with me diving for the rear barley holding on almost fell out.

About 16 mate stole a ute and full of piss we went out and another mate started pouring petrol on this kids parent's lawn. Said father comes out in his underwear chasing the ute as we slowly drive off and im laying in the tray.

At 16 With only a screwdriver start a bobcat and proceed drive it around for about 30min before the cops came and we bailed into the bushes. After laying in the bushes for about an hour decide to call one of my mates that was with me only for the cop to answer his phone.

Lots of drunken escapades with mates 32 drunk drifting so good.

Drive unreg lada niva and proceed to knock over about a k's worth of eoad works signs and cones.

Hook up with best mates sister

Date best mates sister. Still good mates

Everytime been to cop shop *above ute and bobcat incidents* said mates parents have picked us up (current gfs parents)

Thats all I can think of for now

[INSINR8R]

Working at Ambar back in '05, had to throw out some guy who randomly punched another guy in the face. I was upstairs manning the entry, went down and he was pointed out. Asked him if he did it, said yes and I told him it was time to go. Got word the guy he hit was waiting for him upstairs, so I took him through the carpark at the back and out the gate.

Just as he went through the gate, I was following to make sure he went the opposite way to where the other guy was. He slammed the gate in my face and I went up to confront him. Without hesitation he punched me in the face which then proceeded into me beating the shit out of him until other security and staff come and pulled me off him. He finally gets up and runs up towards Murray St and fucks off.

Half an hour later, he comes back trying to get in, I'm standing there and tell him to fuck off. Start fighting again, his mates come up and try to drag him away but he wants to go. Cops drive past, see the commotion and pull over. They get in between us and try and calm the situation. Then for no reason at all, I get past the cops and punch the guy twice in the face and he drops. Cops get in the way again and one is standing in front me telling me to chill.

There were enough witnesses there to back me up and his mates apologize for him. Cops ask if I want to press charges, tell them not to and he gets a move on notice.

Check footage in the morning and all matches up with what happened. Was pretty lucky as at the time they were cracking down on heavy handed bouncers.

Broke a bunch of windows in high school, one being after we got held back in English class for 10 minutes after school finished because the teacher was a bitch. As soon as we could go, proceeded to open the door with my elbow through the glass. Cue her yelling at me to come back. Ended up failing first semester of Year 9 English because of her.

Pushed another kid into a window after a fight with him.

Fucked around with the chemicals in Science class and spilled acid all over the stool and melted it.

Tried to set shit on fire with the bunson burners, managed to set my text book on fire.

Poured chemicals in the science pond that had frogs breeding there. Managed to kill a few of them. Feel bad now.

Locked science teacher out of the classroom for a while one day because I wanted him to have a tantrum that he was well known for. I'm surprised he never had a heart attack the amount of times he lost his shit at us. He asked me a question and spat while he was talking, said I want an education not a weather report, got thrown out of the class. He went bright red and he had to take a few breaths because he was livid.

Got thrown out of Social Studies class. Sat outside waiting and was throwing nuts at the window. Teacher tells me to stop it, pick up what I thought was a nut, turned out to be a rock and threw it through the window, breaking it.

Got sent home for the day for wolf-whistling at a girl in Year 8 when I was in year 10. Everyone thought she was hot, still is. Teacher that caught me called me a sexist pig, tell him to go fuck himself. He grabs my arm and tried to drag me away, push him over and get the fuck out.

For some reason, did work experience at Harvey Norman. Start off on the floor helping people, then get told the next week that I'll be in the warehouse putting in those barcode security tags underneath the price tags for some of the computer shit. Ended up pinching a bunch of shit from there and never went back.

Got taken to a spot in the bushland next to the school where some kids were growing weed. Went back and ripped it all up and gave it to another friend. Was accused of it but denied knowing anything. Belonged to the older brother of a kid at school and he was pretty pissed off and threatened a bunch of people.

Everyone used to give this kid at school heaps of shit because he was insanely weird. He had a card that allowed him to walk out of class if he felt upset or whatever. During home economics cooking, was giving him shit and he picks up a wooden spoon and threatens me with it. I laugh and just tell him to fuck off, he drops it and picks up a big kitchen knife and tries to stab me with it. Then loses his shit, whips out the card and fucks off for the day.

In metal work fucking around with the oxy cutter, cutting through some metal and no idea what I did but there was a massive bang and sparks and embers fly everywhere. Burn holes in my clothes and a few others stuff.

Woodwork fucking around with the bandsaw, throw a big chunk of wood at it, gets caught up and flings it back at me like a gunshot. Misses and breaks some shit in the corner.

A teacher was giving me the shits and we knew she was allergic to something in deodorant, sprayed some near her and she has an attack and passes out. Deny deny deny.

Never got suspended and never had to pay for the damage I'd done. Good times.

My cousin picks me up from work one night with some of his mates. Proceed to Macca's in Tuart Hill and since they're all pretty drunk, decided to play the kidnapped guy in the boot routine in the drive through. Get to window to pick up food, boot flies open, semi naked guy hops out and runs around, I jump out and grab him and throw him back in the boot, get back in car and we speed off.

At a Big W in Sydney when I was 15, bunch of mates and I in the sports section kicking balls up into the ceiling. Get thrown out. Go back next day and do it again and break one of the panels in the roof. Get out before staff come and don't go back.

Staying at a motel at that time in Sydney, got duct taped to a pole outside over night. Was freezing cold, middle of June, ended up being sick for the next few days. Was over there for a sporting thing (I know, right. Shut up.) and missed the first days play because of it.

[DRIFT13]

Few things that stand out -

Made a massive sparkler bomb and put it under a random van for fun, blew up van, while watching the cops came along and spotted us hiding, clean getaway!

Stole a heap of booze from a randoms garage fridge and a mate with us picks the newspaper up from the floor, puts his ass into the fridge and proceeds to lay cable as payment for said booze.

Tied a piece of fishing cord across a road to show mates that you wouldnt see it, the driver of a car didnt subsequently smashing her antenna, but she did see me running down the street, hit behind a dirtpile across the road from a teachers house only to realise as the car pulled up that my giant ass backpack was poking up like a flag. Got smashed by the parents, had to pay for antenna, teachers hated me from then on.

Got way to drunk at school and got dobbed in, principle calls me out of class and after an emmy winning perfomance convince her that I was sober and merely making it up, proceed to wag rest of day and get blind!

Made smoke bomb using plans from the Anarchists Handbook, wasnt good at math so forgot that 4 parts sugar 1 part salt peter was not meant for a 5kg bomb. Smoked out the entire school on a weekend for no reason.

Using model rocket motors made a Rocket Handgun, which I then lauched across a primary school oval during a sports day. Got chased by bulk teachers and got away!

Wanted to make a fire bomb, the hard way. Emptied two cans of deodorant into a milk carton full of tissue, at this point mate decided it was perfect time to light up, BOOM lost eye brows, heap of hair and ended up with two patches on my face that can now never grow hair. Then got busted shoplifting a can of spray on Burn Aid & pain relief from a IGA, to which my parents never questioned the reason for it, or why I had no eyebrows.

Thought a 93 CC lancer could drift. Hit pole and claimed that someone ran a red and I swerved to avoid. Hated that car.

Fitting Quad Throttle bodies to a N/A S13 Silvia only to find I gained 2hp.

Drifting one night in Canningvale and attempted to run around the back of another drifters car, only to get taken my surprise, knocked over almost got run over by it. Good times in Canningvale!

Drifting out the back of Wangara for way too long one night, go to leave and find cops been watching the whole thiing. License check and they come back and advise us they are on strike and to F**k off.

Drank way too much Tequilla one night and locked myself in my Silvia and slept in an OMP fixed back all night with the Harness on. Woke up at 1am or so and spewed in the centre console. Missus drove me home and at the first petrol station we stopped at I removed it and left it there.

Plenty more but thats all I can bring at this time of the morning!

[Jase]

Just remembered last week heading towards town for more drinks, catch up to a car with some chicks and a dude in it, number plate courtney? or something. Arse as far out window as I can, spread cheeks for optimum effect.
May have also tweaked nipples at them also. I thought by this age I would have grown out of that shit, they seemed to enjoy it though

[protecon]

While reading this page, I can see a permanent eye floater in my right eye - from where I de-soldered a speaker connection that was under tension and flicked hot solder in it.
Countless times I've whippersnipper'd in thongs/bare feet.
Moving a ladder without getting off it.
Standing on wheelie bins.
Using the closest object within reach as a hammer.

Safety first.

[d1mitch]

was down at ocean reef marina with a few mates once prior to having my license procedded to school them on how to do donuts in a mates ute with another mate standing in the tray, as im finishing up we see a car watching us which turns out to be a cop car they head towards us i shit myself as i dont have a license at all so me and my mate swap spots without getting out while the car is rolling. luckily for us when the other group of guys saw the cops they started to chuck shit in the car and act real dodgy so the cop headed straight over to their car and we slowly rolled away behind them all while our other mate was laying down under the tray cover. haha

been at a shopping centre carpark putting the trolleys in front of the car and proceeding to push them along at 60km/h then let them go into kerbs, massive airtime and crashes from said trolleys.

[wormbo2]

Using the closest object within reach as a hammer.

Safety first.

Every. Fuckin. Day! Haha

[n1ghth4wk]

Well shit, I'm starting to think that maybe hoons ARE the cause of everything bad in WA...

[ben351]

You kunts need Jesus.

[SMW]

Being 17 trying to do squeelies in an old under powered BMW 5er one night, out of nowhere tow truck with flashing amber lights and high beams begins to peruse. Start belting it down the road to get away and I'm too busy looking in the rear view mirror rather than where I am going. Look ahead there's a roundabout, knowing too well I can't slow down in time I clench my ass cheeks for my impending death. The old BM's boat suspension glided right over the top at well over 100kmh taking out the freshly planted shurbs in it's way.

Still 17 Christmas time, all the christmas lights are out. Some festive fuck has a huge inflatable snowman on his front lawn, me and my mate decide we have a better use for it. My mate jumps out of the car and dashes over to pick it up. He gets it a couple of steps back to the car then the next door neighbour comes out with a baseball bat coming towards him. Mate ditches it and jumps back into the car while it's already moving, like in the movies. Car's door smashed into a skip bin, lucky it didn't smash the window. Got in the local paper for that one.

Think it's a good idea to set alight the letter box of some guy who had been messing with another mate. 3 of us dicking around out the front of the place, trying to set it alight giggling like little girls and shit. The front door swings open and the guys dad comes galloping out in his jocks. Takes us a second or 2 to realize what is actually going on but we leg it. Half way down the road I hear the thumping of his footsteps getting closer until I feel this mighty swoosh of air right behind my ankle as he tries to trip me. Slam I hear him hit the road and slide along it for a good meter or 2, he would have been sore motherucker in the morning. Never before I have ran that hard. That event marked the end of my days doing stupid shit.

First new years being 18 and pick up a chick at a club, a little trashy but whatever it's new years. All my mates start leaving, and she's says she wants me to take her home. I'm like sweet and we walk down to the taxi rank with the rest of the group. I look down at her phone and she is texting said bf saying she's going to cheat on him... I get it into my mind that he's going to come looking for me and I leg it down the street and never never return. Thinking back I recall her saying she had already fucked someone that day - probably a blessing in disguise that I bailed.

Blew on the breath tester in Paramont one night, get some ridiculous reading. Bouncer see's it and kicks me out.

Paid $90 for parking over night in the city once too..

[Nugs]

Did lawn digs on a golf course, school ovals.


Allegedly.
Blind drunk and my friend is driving us back to a house in Cottesloe in a pristine 1972 Honda Civic, it still had pre delivery plastic on the back seats.
I spot a park on the way and convince him to go for a drive. Not impressed with his driving I tell him I need a go, proceed to rip up the park for a good five minutes.
Ute comes out of nowhere and starts chasing us, I realise park is Cottesloe golf course when I get air borne over a bunker and slide into a chain link fence.
The groundskeeper boxes us in and yells at us then lets us go and nothing ever comes of it.
I convince my girlfriend to tell everyone she reversed into the car to explain the damage, top bloke.

[sicka]

accidentally took weed onto a flight to dubai

last night in london was a big one, got home had about an hours sleep. wake up running late for my flight

scrambled out the door, felt a lump in my shoe but was too wasted to think anything of it.

get to airport, have to put shoes through the xray. all good.

halfway to dubai on the plane decide to take my shoes/socks off and find and wiko or there abouts of choof in my sock. flushed it down the toilet.

at the same time realise i am wearing the same shorts that charles & i ran amok in, in ibiza.

luckily there were no sniffer dogs there and there was only a half an hour delay to the next flight

shit got real for a period there.

ps dubai airport is disgusting.

[schnoods]

After seeing a few mates on trips and having the laugh of a lifetime, i decided to try one.

Went to the cinemas to watch of all movies, Kill Bill with a few mates. I must've been the only person laughing from start to finish. Tripped pretty hard during the cartoony section too.

[bgtx3]

been at a shopping centre carpark putting the trolleys in front of the car and proceeding to push them along at 60km/h then let them go into kerbs, massive airtime and crashes from said trolleys.

This, though not condoned, IS FUN!

[huggy_b]

I sense this will be a future contributor for some reason:

http://antilag.com/forums/showthread.php?58249-Adding-Hydrogen-To-safe-fuel

[VZ_V8]

when I was about 15, had a mega crush on my mates mum and she often gave me a lift home. Had it in my head that if I just made a move she would be DTF. So, one night on the way to my place, just me and her I asked her to pull over. Told her that I wanted to ask her something, proceeded to get my dick out while asking "is this a normal size". she looked at my cock, looked at me and pulled back onto the road. Mate called me the next day to say I wasnt welcome there anymore, but he didnt know why. still doesnt.

http://i1221.photobucket.com/albums/dd475/jacktheclipper/damngood_zpsf16eb6e8.gif

[Liberator]

I also pooped in the urinal, whole school got detention until some random guy owned up lol

you didnt happen to go to leeming did you HA!?

[Missile]

Got arrested in Thailand for entering the wrong hotel room in the middle of the night......from the Balcony. Top floor of the Patong Beach Hotel.

http://www.sbyphuket.com/hotel/phuket/patong/patongbeach_hotel_files/view58.jpg

Ten stories up. Quite intoxicated. Can see that there is an angled wall between balconies. Lucky i didn't fall to my death. Lucky i didn't get charged.

Can comfortably say this was the scariest moment of my life.

Ha. Did the exact same thing at the Patong but only needed to get to level 4.
A mate had gone home early to pass out. Me and another mate came back, broke in, purchased lady boy and told it to make love to passed out mate.
Passed out mate remained passed out. In the end it probably wasn't as funny as it could have been.
Stupid component was scaling the outside of the Patong.

[Skitzo]

HAHA. Shit hey. Maybe it's more common than i thought. See, climbing across balconies and shit on a hotel is pretty dumb. Unlike 50% of the stories in this thread that are just shit.

[hostage_85]

Mine aren't quite as good as those posted above.

Mates and I climbed to the top of the bin storage area out the back of the Livingston shopping centre. The mission was to get to the roof (before BIG W etc.. were there).
My two mates jump across and make it and climb up.
My turn, I jump, just make the distance and the tips of my fingers catch the gutter.
Not strong enough, I fall and land awkwardly on my left foot.
My mates carry me back to their place as I can't walk, while we decide what to do (wasn't meant to be out in the first place)
My other mates gets a Trolley and proceeds to wheel me home in it. I then hide in my room until the next morning hoping my foot heals.
Turns out it was only sprain, but it was a fun night!

Other one was my bucks night.
My cousin chains a Piston Head from a CAT Dump truck to my ankle to wear for the night
We all get merry on booze, at the end of the night I decide its time to dance
Swing my leg out and in only to have the Piston head swing in and smash my right foot.
I didn't walk the rest of the night.
Next morning couldn't work out what had happened and didn't know what I did to my foot.
Funnily enough my mates had taped the whole event.

[crabman]

http://sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/p206x206/377024_10150439065868159_958260335_n.jpg

I don't usually admit to this but, i woke up at 1am in my jocks in the back seat of my car with the boat on the trailer like this one day. Was a rotto trip with a mate, ended up drinking with guys on boat next to us, progressed to tequilla. We dont know who drove the boat away from rotto. All i remember was pulling my mate out of the water at one stage, being about 200m off Cott beach at about 8pm (my mate mistook Observation city for freo so we went home the long way) driving the boat on the trailer at lewin boat ramp and waking up in the back seat of my car passed out with the door open and a pile of spew on the driveway. As you can see the boat made it from Freo to Cannington area without even being tied to the trailer. Super dumb.

Since then I have fallen overboard with the same guy once again coming back from rotto (mega dumb), and once on the river. I don't go boating anymore with him.

Video of boat driving itself in circles at Aquinas bay can be found here, these guys were lucky enough to pick us up. I was spotting tube behind, no idea the prick was going to double back onto a wake at speed full turn. It ran at about 80% throttle like that for 40minutes until hitting a nice sandy bit of shoreline, just working its way back out, then smashing into rocks. Lucky it's plastic. Cops that were called up made it to the area as we got it unbeached and heading towards the ramp again, didn't even do a skippers ticket check lol.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=411817035560187&set=vb.100690000014936&type=2&theater

[S85FI]

That drink is such a good spirit, I still make it, no additives unlike shop stuff. A great drop.

[mr_mike]

Once upon a time in Perth Mod in year 11 we had a pot head in class who would come late to school baked off his head almost everyday. We had computing after lunch and he happened to be in class and the teacher was strict and loved to report the naughty kids to the deputy for anything. Anyways our bags were on the floor and me and two mates came up with this crazy idea to gat a typical ganja bag and write $25 on it stuffed with chopped up leaves. My mate asks the teacher to go to the toilet and he went to chop up some leaves to place in the bag. He came back to class and chucked it next to pot heads bag as he walked past. My other mate was next to him and asked the teacher for help. When the teacher got there he pointed to the bag on the floor with the school bag being open and all it looked like it fell out. The teacher goes and picks it up and asks him if it fell out of his bag and why does he bring that to school. I thought straight away he's going to get in the shit now. The teacher calls up the deputy and gets the coordinator to take him with the bag in her hands. On the way to the deputy principal he had the real shit on him and decided to bury it in the ground without the coordinator noticing anything. One of the librarians saw him bury it from the inside, dug it up and came to the principal with it. The fake shit led to the real shit and he got suspended for 3 days from school.

.

Thats not dumb shit, thats called being a fucking dog pingpingpingping!! Ur lucky u didnt get ur head kicked in for pulling shit like that.

[masTers]

http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/ipswich-teen-loses-both-hands-after-thrown-a-homemade-bomb/story-e6frg12c-1226639706999

[duste]

Certainly hope you're referring to the kids who made the bomb, and not the autistic kid who's now lost his hands because of said kids being pingpingpingpings...

[masTers]

Its a dumb situation in general. Massive dumb/dog act to try and get someone to sniff something explosive. Sad part is it's kids who have had a laugh but has ruined a life in the process

[Damo 69]

[QUOTE=Dzenci;1108011]
I was mentioning how Rakija would be one of the most fucked up drinks and my old man had some. [QUOTE]


Rakija, was at a bar with a mate in thailand, got talking to a croat sydney cab driver, says "hey boys have some rajkia i made it myself" 4-5 hours later and around 500ml of rajkia later "fuck yeah lets hire some jet ski's" crash jet ski into mate, thai guy trys to take my passport, trys to charge me 5k (aussie) for the damage to jet ski, get away with $300 aussie payment.

and last night, not a proud moment, apparently after being up 8k at the casino and loosing the lot in $800 hands in black jack, in the cab on the way home i tried to take off the taxi drivers turban as i got out, mate was still in the cab went through intimate details on last night with me today. i am well aware how disrespectfull that is and expecting a lawsuit sometime soon.

winning - could have used that 8k for the current GTR build but safe to say i remember fucking nothing. the story goes after i was up 2800 i bought nearly every cocktail at the bar and went back to black jack kept winning like a baws, left all my chips at the table 6-7k no fucks given, went for a smoke, came back an hour later with some hussey, and proceeded to loose every cent and give back a few hundred of my own. 3> james packer. apparently i called my brother at the 3500 mark, as he called me this morning to ask how i ended up, asked him what the fuck he was on about. going on 26 and winning every day.

[Kickit]

brought a commodore as a first car

[mr_mike]

He knew we've done it and he couldn't do fuck all and told us how he tried to hide the real shit on him on the way to deputy's office and he was seen, how else would of we known the full story than by him.
To tell you the truth I've beaten the shit out of the pingpingpingping prior to that for trying to sell weed to my younger brother and his mates. You think I gave two shits about some fuck who comes high off his head to school? For people like that I have zero respect. No one had respect for the pingpingpingping because everyone knew he was a pot head.

Sounds like you're a drug user your self as you're showing great support. Get off the crack pipe mate

Yes i have used plenty of drugs myself, so do ALOT of people on these forums and in society in general. Do you drink? Do you smoke? who are you to judge what is right and wrong and what people do with their own bodies.

My comment was more implying that what you done was a shit thing to do as a person, if you hadn't thought it would be a fun idea to try stitch up and dob in the pot head for something he hadnt done then he wouldnt of got caught for having the real shit. which i'm not denying was entirely his own fault.

[S85FI]

Can we keep this on track and just respect each others differences.... :cool:chill and lets roll again...

[Yakky Bear]

who cares, have your argument through pm and stop clogging up the thread.

[Faz]

who cares, have your argument through pm and stop clogging up the thread.

Yeah bloody druggies

[Niva]

Drugs lead to things like buying Ladas.

not even once, kids.

[Tsunamix]

i got a good one.

Used to work for as a mechanics TA. brisbane. Fun times. In came a sad sounding VW passat (pisshat) from the early 70's. White smoke. Rattles.

Tell the customer to go away while we assess the damage, rip the plugs out, water in one bore.

Being young and a lunatic i get a screwy idea - "hey boss - look at this!". he sticks head underthe bonnet, I hit the starter and squirt water from the number 2 plug hole into his face.
Queue laughs all around. Good fun

Proceed to play this joke on the next sucker - "Hey fourth year apprentice - check this out ! Queue smirks and giggles. Except this time Marko Jerks upright in reaction from the water, and smashes his head on the bonnet. Hard. Very Hard. Bonnet support collapses on the back of his neck and the spring pin that locks the bonnet down gets lodged in the waistband of his King Gee's. We start howling with laughter. Fair dinkum tears.

Look the pisshat is eating marko ! etc etc. Marko struggles and thrashes and somehow in the process the handbrake cable on the pisshat snaps.Now - the workshop driveway is on a bit of an angle towards the road, and you dont dump water in the workshop without haveing to clean it up immediatley so I'd left the pisshat in the driveway.

this is the same pisshat that's now slowly accelerating down the driveway with what looks like a half eaten apprentice in its mouth, looking for all the world like an overgrown seagull with a blue legged chip in it's mouth, running away from the picnic table.

More and more howls of alughter. until we realise the road out the front has a semi bearing down in it.

Luckily the semi stopped, but the pisshat went across the road, hit the gutter and parked itself neatly against a telephone pole, with one leg either side. I understand there was considerable pressure on a certain scrotum.

Interesting words were said and I found a dozen very good reasons for being sick for the next couple of days.

Dumb as hell, nearly got someone killed.... and it still brings me to tears of laughter even today.

Edit: Called marko yesterday and reminded him about this. Got told to go suck a bag of dicks. Offered him some ice for the butthurt. Got offered a pisshat enema. Tears of laughter on both sides of the phone. Going to go buy a dead pisshat from a wreckers thisarvo, go over to markos place and have a little bonfire.

3:1 I get chucked in the fire, lie there laughing and burn off all my remaining hair.

Speaking of which - Reminds me of the time I started a fire at my girlfreinds place. Laid out a neat fire, paper & kindling teepee style in the fireplace. Oh crap me lighters empty. Stumble of to the kitchen for yet another beer and the lighter fluid, juglle them both and attempt to fill the lighter with fluid.
Being the drunken ass that I am, i didn't notice that the lighter fluid was also running down my hand, arm and leg. Neither did anyone else.

Take 'filled' lighter, test it, yep works, go to fireplace, bend over and light the fire. Whoosh.
Drunken fool says 'look everyone, I'm on fire!". turn to the half dozen eejits behind me to a chiruss of ooh's and aah's. Wave my flaming arm in the air for pretty patterns. Must have taken a full 5 seconds for it to sink in that I was actually on fire - like burning, frying and shits gonna go up in smoke fire. Stop drop and roll...Yeah great idea. Rolled into the fireplace.

Now my legs on fire, my pants are on fire and the oohs and aah's are guffaws and people pissing themselves.

Off come the daks, off comes the shirt, beat myself out with the shirt. Starkers infront of the crew, sitting naked on the carpet panting. Can still smell smoke and burnt hair.

The reason why, is because the carpets now on fire, I'm sitting in a pool of lighter fluid, and my balls have just noticed.

Ever seen a naked person jump up from the floor, sprint outside to the pool and jump in with just their balls and arse on fire ? Neither have I. My friends have though.

[S85FI]

That's awesome!

[Lump]

with his mom
*mum

[Phyber]

i got a good one.

First post FTW!

[S85FI]

I think these stories are so much better with the theatrical version... so many laughs here.

[uzx83]

A few years back, Western power came around and said that our trees were too close to the power lines and that we had to get them cut back, my old man rang around and found prices to get them cut back, he then said we had to go halves in the cost, at the time i was a first or second year apprentice earning around 280 bucks a week, now thats $100 for friday night and $100 saturday night and $80 for the week, i couldn't afford to cut down no fucking tree, so i said to dad give me your half of the cost and ill do it myself...

Its a decent size palm and the branches are as tuff as nails so i called up a mate to come and help

First i thought fuck it ill just rip these things off with my bunky...

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q264/metal_mulisha_bloke/11858_186328812035_7686363_n_zps617257dc.jpg (http://s138.photobucket.com/user/metal_mulisha_bloke/media/11858_186328812035_7686363_n_zps617257dc.jpg.html)

These branches were so strong that it lifted my little corolla's back end fair off the ground and the branch didn't even budge

So i decided they had to be cut off, so i got my ladder out and our awesome electric chainsaw with a extension cord thats was 20km long
put the ladder up against the tree, the ladder didn't even come close to the branches that wet near the power line, so i thought fuck what am i going to do now? Then this great idea popped into my head...

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q264/metal_mulisha_bloke/11858_186328822035_741727035_3112848_7030582_n.jpg (http://s138.photobucket.com/user/metal_mulisha_bloke/media/11858_186328822035_741727035_3112848_7030582_n.jpg .html)

And so there I am cutting down branches one handed with a electric chainsaw on a ladder thats sitting on a corolla near power lines...

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q264/metal_mulisha_bloke/11858_186328837035_6706136_n_zps80ed6888.jpg (http://s138.photobucket.com/user/metal_mulisha_bloke/media/11858_186328837035_6706136_n_zps80ed6888.jpg.html)

All went fine, no injuries or accidents, got my money and went and bought some cheap goon

APPRENTICELYFE

[phatboy]

Set a huge fire in my shed using the 9" grinder last year, only to discover that the massive gloves I was wearing while doing so stopped me from pulling the pin out of my fire extinguisher to put it out.

Crashed the car that started said shed fire.
was my fully sik s13, decided to really needed to take this chick home that my younger brother had just finished flogging out. was a fantastic move on my part, thought id be amazing and show her my drift skills (of which I have none) come into an uphill sweeper and proceed to tap dance on the clutch pedal until the car spun, clipped a tree and went backwards through a wall into a huge square signpost down a small bank. I look over at her as shes not made a noise and give the usual "you ok?" get a timid "yes", try to boost car out of said bank (fuckin amazed it still went) called my bother to get mums prado to which i get "it was you wasn't it" (hed heard the crash from my house) proceed to wake Tmas up and we pull the car out and skull drag it back to his.

rear bar was pressed to the rear bulkhead but somehow didn't damage the fuel tank. chassis was bent but the car still ran and drove fine!
parents not impressed.
rode push bike for 6 months.
s13 got parted.
the chick swore she'd never tell anyone, couldn't get in a car for months (shit move on my part)
bought jzx100 short time later and spent well over 20k on shit for it and still don't make 400hp.

moral of the story. don't but s13's.

oh also doing 279kph in a 70 zone... almost didn't pull up for the Tonkin lights, glad I invested in a good disc and pad combo. I just wanna see my TRD dash clocked!