Dumb Stuff You Have Done?

[S85FI]

I'm reading this weeks local paper (Freo) and there is an article that goes:
* Resident calls tradie to do some work (Sparkie)
*Sparkie does the job and notes the client (86) has a hand gun tucked away under a pillow
* Calls cops when finished
*Cops turn up
* 86 yr old says no worries, it's a replica
* One cop stands by door and other checks gun
* Shot is heard, cap goes off and cop has powder burns on face (I'm thinking weapon discipline here)
* Cop leaves and 86 yr refused to give up replica
*Cop says he will be back with warrent
* 86 contacts close member of family for advice - who advise the replica is legal in his local environment
* 86 contact Freo Police who state the situation has been 'dropped'

So this gets me thinking how dumb the cop was to test fire the weapon and then nearly cap (pardon the punt) himself. Then I'm thinking what are dumb things that I have done?

So for me, super dumb - using a 9inch grinder with a masonry disk to cut some pavers in my GP Boots. If that wasn't dumb, I need to trim some bricks. So with the Boots I stand on brick. All is well for a few bricks then on one brick the blade caught and pulled forward cutting the boot. Toe exposed and no blood. Did I learn? no, just moved the foot back a bit to finish of the job.

So something about my toes. I use my Stihl MS880 Chain Saw with Double Pluggers and still have all my toes. But use safety glasses?:confused:

Share your dumb adventures....

[[FL0SSIN]]

Got a bitch preggers once... Boy was my face red!

[siladee]

paging tyson

[_S9_]

Replacing battery in the boot of the skyline.

Use size 10 spanner to undo positive terminal nut.

Spanner touches chassis and arcs and weld itself to the metal.

Fire ensued.

[Brett_J]

How do I fit 25 years worth of life choices in here :)

[SLYDR_SAM]

Years back was on the way home from work and was just in my boxers as my work clothes where covered in shit and was stinking hot.
Following another bloke who was driving work van and we pulled up at a shopping centre for him to run in to bottle shop.
Car park was half empty and he had just parked the car diagonaly across a few bays. I thought I would see if he had left the handbrake off so I thought it would be funny to push the van with the patrol I was driving.
Turns out the handbrake was off and the car was in gear, with the key still turned to ignition (he had just pulled up stalled it and left it)
So the car van rolls foward and then takes off towarfs a brand new sti sat in the car park.
I shat myself and jump out the patrol in my boxers and start bolting for the van. Finally catch it and dove headfirst through the open window yanked the handbrake and managed to stop it with inches to spare from this sti.
I climb out the car to see my mate and a bunch of people in tesrs laughing at me.
Was pretty dumb I guess

/csb

[31-EVO]

Plowed a fat chick......3 times
But one of those times was on a bet, I won but lost at the same time. Whatevs

[180SXTCY]

Attempted Outrunning cops in an excel... Would be one of many lol

[Niva]

when I was about 10 my dad bought a niva, I was helping him take the shopping out the boot and at the last minute stuck my head back in as he slammed the boot down on it. every since then I love nivas

[huggy_b]

Started a showcase thread.

[Sensible]

Tin roof + Rain = hospital visit and 3 months off work after having fingers put back together

[31-EVO]

Not so sensible, sensible

[jaba]

Tin roof + Rain = hospital visit and 3 months off work after having fingers put back together

Ironic user name then.

[jaba]

Damn...

[Sensible]

^^^^^ Finally we have a winner behind my user name

[dak dak]

Having my car converted :eek:

[ReaperSS]

Where the fuk do i start lol

[S85FI]

How do I fit 25 years worth of life choices in here :)

This is entertaining.... roll out some. I'm sure as a tradie there must be a few good ones.
Many moons ago when I was on the tools I got asked to cut open a drum (205 lt) of X55 to use as a parts cleaner. So I thought:
* I can't oxy it, naked flame may set off the X55
*Can't grind it the sparks may set it off
*Blew out as much as possible of the fumes but there was still a small amount in it and just couldn't get it out of the lip of the drum
*So drilled a shit load of holes in one half of the base
*Soaked some sting in metho to use as a fuse
*Stuck fuse in the drum, lit fuse hoping residue would burn off
*Stood behind workshop wall
* Boss stands next to me and thinks this is real dumb
*Fuck me this drum lights up, fluid in drum starts to boil, flames get bigger and the holes I drilled acted like a rocket, flames pushing out of the holes
*Drum slides across workshop floor at a million miles a hour out the work shop and across a road into the wall of another workshop...
*Not a good look....

[Sfidz]

paging Blaaa

[TJ]

Helping start a web based online discussion forum in Oct 2003

[Fr3d]

Bit a bit of banana out of a strippers snatch. Told Mrs via sms. She didn't find it as funny as I did.

[ossie_21]

As a little kid, I put my thumb on the chain of the exercise bike we had.
Then proceeded to wind the pedal with my other hand.
Kept winding until my thumb went into the spokes.
Went to hospital with my thumb hanging by a bit of skin, the scar is still easy to see.
Haven't exercised since

[SSICK]

Thrown a star picket over some powerlines. never. again. was in my first week of being an apprentice.

[Milhouse]

Spent thousands making a front wheel drive vehicle fast...

[YOUR MATE]

Thrown a star picket over some powerlines. never. again. was in my first week of being an apprentice.

Did this back in high school. Powerlines above a grassy field. Fire. Sirens. Helicopter. Fuck.

[TJ]

Oh, and went drinking with buckets on an empty stomach before an al bbq.

[Niva]

taking a cracked split rim to 90psi trying to get a bead to pop on. out of just wanting to go home on time.

ass move

[Lonewolf]

Oh, and went drinking with buckets on an empty stomach before an al bbq.

not blowing out flaming shot?

[JBAE]

Got an asthma inhaler stuck in a chicks box once... More stupid on her behalf for letting drunken me near the baby cave with the device....

Stupid on my behalf in the event I had an attack during its adventure...

[ReaperSS]

Fractured my skull and had a hematoma doing a backflip off a swing landed on my forehead on a concreat slab, broke 2 ribs climbing onto a barbed wired off jetty i wasn’t allowed to fish off, broke 2 bones in my hand from smashing 3 walnuts on a jarrah table, shot myself in the foot with an air rifle and had to do home surgery to remove because gun wasnt licenced , bruised my retina and spit my eye ball open pulling a rip cord on a rock hopper motor bike and the rope came out and knot smashed me in the open eye, spinning my mates back wheel as fast as we could on his bike in a sand pit, pedaling it flat tack and chucking sand in the cogs, got finger caught in chain/sprocket it went all the way around and just about severed it, kicked a guy in the head with bare feet and snapped my toe backwards and broke a couple bones in the foot. played a game of who can cut their hand the deepest.... i won.
Most recent was planned a trip to Ningaloo reef to swim with the whale sharks. I had to do it even if it killed me, didn’t tell anyone i can’t swim for sh1t. They asked everyone if they could swim and i sat there silent. I figured that they could save me if i drowned lol. We found a whale shark and i jumped in literally on top of it!! It crashed into me, no fuks given by the 8 meter shark. I managed to swim and got told off for getting to close wtf! next swim with it i seen a big tiger shark go under me, panicked and had to be rescued, just about died. We were in 300 meters of water lol. Anyway i survived but very stupid to do it no knowing how to swim well.
10x more stupid stuff that i cant mention here or i would be locked up for minimum of 15 yrs... Sorry, have to say it Y.O.L.O haha

[Niva]

Got an asthma inhaler stuck in a chicks box once... More stupid on her behalf for letting drunken me near the baby cave with the device....

Stupid on my behalf in the event I had an attack during its adventure...

and subsequently sucked the mattress up through her asshole

[mr_mike]

hmm where to start? number 1 spot would have to go to rolling my car when i was 17, yeah rolling a car is pretty dumb the story that goes with it is better. Parents had gone to a fancy dress party i was supposed to be at home babysitting younger sister couple mates come over and we decide to go for a quick burn in my car.
Down the road and of course onto the local school oval we go, do a couple shitty handbrake turns when the idea was hatched to try go for a full 360 spin but i was gonna need some inertia speed for this great feat!!!
So exit the oval onto the car park before turning around and heading for the grass again at about 60-70kph hit the curb and get a bit airborne at this stage, onto the lawn and big yank on the hand brake. Car skidded forwards before turning 90deg to the right and digging into the lawn about 1ft deep oh yeah it had been raining so ground was soft. It was at this point the the car gentle as anything rolled up on its side then over onto its roof.
After undoing seatbelts and all landing on our heads we got out of the car only to see a police car rock up was also told to get my parents down there asap. Remember they had been at a fancy dress party.
So now i can set the final scene. School oval, P plater car sittin on its roof in the middle, 3 teenagers, 2 cops and 3 very very angry parents IN TELLY TUBBY COSTUMES!!!


I have a shit load more stories and they are a bit more dumb than using an angle grinder without safety boots on.

[Evman]

Didn't hook up with a super keen (too super-keen, freaked me out) multi-millionaire chick who passed away a few years ago.

Was genuinely upset because she passed away, of course, but that part of my brain kept saying I missed my chance for an early retirement. Hated myself for it, pretty sure I'm going to hell.

[Jaak]

http://i42.tinypic.com/66chhd.jpg

swallowed one, worst few days of my life

[SSICK]

how???

[3sgte]

Spent thousands making a front wheel drive vehicle fast...

Don't get me started

[Jaak]

how???
Young and stupid. The shitting it out was less fun!

[siladee]

this requires a joe-spec essay jaak. details of the entire process from the conception of the idea to swallow it to how you guided it out without a torn colon..

[protecon]

Drove to Lancelin from Claremont which is about 140kms in 45 minutes at 2am - back before the new highway.
Actually have also done Guilderton to Lancelin on the old road in a mini.
Drove from Perth to Port Douglas in a Camira (11500kms).
Drove to Kalgoorlie and back in a day just to pick up some speakers.
Worst one was probably knocking up a Canadian backpacker, aborting, then stupidly getting married and trying to make it last for six years.

[S85FI]

I have a shit load more stories and they are a bit more dumb than using an angle grinder without safety boots on.

HAHA Gold, don't hold back.

[TJ]

Drove to Lancelin from Claremont which is about 140kms in 45 minutes at 2am - back before the new highway.

Average speed was 193.333kmh...

[Jaak]

this requires a joe-spec essay jaak. details of the entire process from the conception of the idea to swallow it to how you guided it out without a torn colon..

Ok...

So I was 10 years old sitting in the back of my mothers mk2 golf on the way home from school.
Minding my own business ,I found a machine needle on the floor about 5-6cm long. I started casually picking my teeth with it , what harm can come of it ,haha! I can still taste its metallic taste. In my mouth it went , swirling it around like a tooth pick. Now this is the part I cant remember ,maybe out of fear or shit scare at my parents reaction, but I somehow swallowed it.
Water Water I say while holding my throat. My mother turn around with that " what the fuck is he on about" face. So yeah , rushed to the hospital where they tried picking it out with a endoscope (throat camera). but it was into deep in my system already. At of the day I only had one option, pass it naturally. Since I had a slow metabolism ,the cycle took about two days ,haha .
I almost forgot I swallowed it until I finally taken a shit. To make it worst it didn't come out straight ,that motherfucker came out sideways. I wouldn't lie it was not a solo mission to get it out .



Edit : x-rays were taken every six hours to track it and make sure it didnt torn me open...

[S85FI]

Last year storms bought a neighbours tree down and it fell on my house. Cracked two tiles. (I'm on high ground and most of the tree was resting on a retaining wall). Super pissed off and could see the palm tree next to it going next. When you hear stories that palm trees are almost impossible to blow over I thought... 'yeh, what ev - this tree has got to go'.

Called a mate to bring over a Franna MAC 25. Couldn't get the sling up high enough to get above centre of gravity. Climbed onto roof then got the pole saw out to trim some leaves so the soft sling could go higher. Tried to drag sling up with the boom. Dam those leaves are tough!

Still not happy with sling position so tried to lay the tree over with the crane, 18t of pull and the tree almost touched the ground but din't budge. So not happy.

Super determined now I climb back on the roof. Pole saw and a step ladder on roof tiles with ladder resting on the tree. I'm thinking this is a classic Thailand photo. Determined to get this thing down mate jumps on ladder and I'm holding his hips while he's pole sawing the top of the tree. Ladder rated to 125kg. I'm 112kg, plus my mate got to be plus 100kg too. I extend the ladder to full extension and we give it one more crack. Move only a few leaves.

Tie winch cable from the 4wd to tree base as sling only just above COG. Cut tree.. and nearly drags car into house.....

Tree down... 1 to me.

[S85FI]

Average speed was 193.333kmh...

So what would it be from Greno to perth in just under 2 hours? :p

[protecon]

Average speed was 193.333kmh...
Actually it's 186.7
Almost hit a huge 'roo coming over a crest, and managed to smear an owl up the front of the bonnet and windscreen. Definitely warrants the "dumb things thread" because I had passengers.
This was 16 years ago.

[eaglesfandavid]

hmm where to start? number 1 spot would have to go to rolling my car when i was 17, yeah rolling a car is pretty dumb the story that goes with it is better. Parents had gone to a fancy dress party i was supposed to be at home babysitting younger sister couple mates come over and we decide to go for a quick burn in my car.
Down the road and of course onto the local school oval we go, do a couple shitty handbrake turns when the idea was hatched to try go for a full 360 spin but i was gonna need some inertia speed for this great feat!!!
So exit the oval onto the car park before turning around and heading for the grass again at about 60-70kph hit the curb and get a bit airborne at this stage, onto the lawn and big yank on the hand brake. Car skidded forwards before turning 90deg to the right and digging into the lawn about 1ft deep oh yeah it had been raining so ground was soft. It was at this point the the car gentle as anything rolled up on its side then over onto its roof.
After undoing seatbelts and all landing on our heads we got out of the car only to see a police car rock up was also told to get my parents down there asap. Remember they had been at a fancy dress party.
So now i can set the final scene. School oval, P plater car sittin on its roof in the middle, 3 teenagers, 2 cops and 3 very very angry parents IN TELLY TUBBY COSTUMES!!!


I have a shit load more stories and they are a bit more dumb than using an angle grinder without safety boots on.

3 parents???

[TJ]

Actually it's 186.7
Almost hit a huge 'roo coming over a crest, and managed to smear an owl up the front of the bonnet and windscreen. Definitely warrants the "dumb things thread" because I had passengers.
This was 16 years ago.

Freeway only went to Ocean Reef Drive ... slowing down for anything in the inner city, coming off fwy etc would of killed your ave speed. Wanneroo Rd was single lane and as stated the old road. To get it back you would of been honking well above 200. Smashed an animal or two, didnt slow down?

What car?

I reckon you did it fast.. but thats supremely fast.

[S85FI]

Average speed was 193.333kmh... Bom Bomb......


Actually it's 186.7


To be precise it's186.66rkm/h. 140km/h / time or % value of available time = 0.75 so 140km/h / 0.75 = 186.66r km/h

Thats awesome!

[TJ]

I calculated based on 145km.

Ok, to ensure we are happy, same reply, change number to 186.666666666666666667whateverfuckingkmh

[SSICK]

3 parents???

3 teenagers.....3 parents? not a hard concept to grasp.....

[Denver]

Face planted the road while riding my pushie. Black out briefly. Come to walk up to the first door within my teeth through my bottom lip. Teeth chipped and blood pissing out if me.

Bought an r33

Face planted the side of a car riding my pushie. More blood. Chipped the same teeth.

Bought an r33

Drunk on a bouncy castle. Running bounce of the walls. Folded finger on my right hand all the back. It stayed swollen for about 6 years.

Armadale to Harvey in 45 minutes.

Bought an r33.

Used to slide mill point exit off the freeway every time I went on it at night and the sprinklers had been on in my tx3.

Banged a loopy chick on a fwb basis thinking shell never loop if I get a Gf (she had a very prominent rack think 14e's on a size 8 frame) get a Gf. Causes no end of hassle inc claiming she'll top herself.

[Brett_J]

I will post some more when I have a chance to write them down properly

Went downhill mountain bike riding thinking I was still as awesome as when I used to race BMX 20 years earlier, turns out I can still do massive jumps with the best of them, just nailing the landing is my downfall, overshot the step up at goat farm by fuckloads, used my face and right shoulder to land on, Broke several ribs,collar bone, shoulder blade, partially fractured my pelvis, collapsed a lung and got brain damage as well that affects my short term memory.

When I was 19, was house sitting for a friend, got bored, called up the local town slut, fucked her on the couch during an ad break for Sea Rats (old tv show), lost out to dick lotto and knocked her up.

11 years later lost out to dick lotto again with a psycho chick I'd been dating for a whole month, ended up with another spawn.

More to come, stories that is, no kids, getting fixed this year !

[RICEY]

Stealing fuel out of my mums car I swallowed a large mouthful. Spent the next few days feeling very sick and having burps that smelt of petrol. Never went to doctor either. Ended up with severe esophageal reflux and on tablets for rest of life, well at least I presume that caused it.

[Riggs]

I don't know where to start.

[Damo 69]

Bought an r33

.

there there, i had a hard on reading the article in PI magazine last week

[Buckas]

everytime weve been up at my farm in toodyay I don't know how we all walk out of there unharmed. Too much testosterone, petrol, cars and alcohol usually ends up with events like:

-shooting a beer bottle of petrol in the bonfire
-when none of the glass hit us (hit the cars behind and around us), upgraded to shooting a butane can
-threw i cigerette lighter in the fire. Decided it wasn't in far enough and went to push it further. Exploded in my face as I was leaning in. Goodbye facial hair
-600ml coke bottle in the fire under a tree. Set the tree over the campsite on fire
http://i708.photobucket.com/albums/ww89/buckas00/26130_10150148686970693_5995122_n_zps5dd8befb.jpg (http://s708.photobucket.com/user/buckas00/media/26130_10150148686970693_5995122_n_zps5dd8befb.jpg. html)

-taught a mate to drive on gravel when we could barely walk to the car
-poured a jerry can of petrol over a bonfire standing in the middle of it. Lit the fire while soaked in petrol
-this probably wasnt the best idea
http://i708.photobucket.com/albums/ww89/buckas00/Farm-B4LeggyJackandXR6_106.jpg (http://s708.photobucket.com/user/buckas00/media/Farm-B4LeggyJackandXR6_106.jpg.html)

-bought an alfa as my first car while broke
http://i708.photobucket.com/albums/ww89/buckas00/Alfa_2small.jpg (http://s708.photobucket.com/user/buckas00/media/Alfa_2small.jpg.html)

[RaGH*]

Thread is basically dumb ways to die. (http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDMQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DIJN R2EpS0jw&ei=TA-DUa_aEYO4iQfstoDYCg&usg=AFQjCNEfvgqb9iJ6YCKJIMXPi1vvWO7HTA&sig2=lgyhaz6limm1ZmKhPC6vNA)

[Joe]

I don't reckon any "I bought this car" or "I modified this car" story is dumb at all.. we're all in it together and Antilag wouldn't exist without people like us modifying and enjoying money pits :D

Soo... I'm really embarrassed to say, I cannot think of one thing that I've done that was TRULY dumb or stupid. Maybe I was sheltered or maybe I just had a huge desire to not be filtered out of the gene pool, but yeah I can't think of one thing in my life that I've done which even gets close to whats been put in this thread so far.

[cplagz]

How do I fit 25 years worth of life choices in here :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEw_ebkblhU


dumb shit ive done...

paddling out in 10-12foot Strickland Bay surf when I was in year 10, seeing the first wave come through and snap two boards and deciding it was a good idea to "try and find a bomb to take"

taking up mountain biking....too many stories to list here, most involve jumps or tree/log rides and hitting something.

chopping wood in thongs with an axe, missing the block and luckily landing the axe between my big toe and the next one..... cut all strap apart and missed any skin whatsoever.

hitting the bus stop/bin post outside Cuppa Joe's on the MTB at 25kph and going headfirst onto the road in front of traffic....just to keep my average speed at 24kph ... FUCK YOU STRAVA

[d1mitch]

most of the dumb thing i have done i think revolve around drinking. like being completely destoyed, someone told me i need to have a shave, so i did came out bleeding from everywhere on my face lol.

rolling my car backwards off some bricks (used so i can get the jack under) car gets too much momentum off the brick and crashed into the garage wall. lol luckily not too much damage.

test driving my car straight off the dyno at 3 am with no headlights, bonnet, havent wheel aligned etc. procceded to do the maddest drift then loose it into a pole. peer pressures' a bitch.

theres probably many other stories but i cant think of any at the moment

[31-EVO]

Armadale to Harvey in 45 minutes.

.

Kalamunda to Harvey in the same time, fucking retarded.

Smashing Beer*r as people lined up to get into clubs, not sure if stupid or best idea I ever had tbh

Bought a VP calais, ruined the back seat with a huge amount of female self lubcrication, had to sell my best daily due to stench

Put a screwdriver into a boosting turbo, worst noise I have ever heard

Tried stuffing my house mate into the oven, little pingpingpingping punched me in the face.

Flicking matches, set a huge amount of grass on fire around Kalamunda high school.

So many more

[Lonewolf]

I don't reckon any "I bought this car" or "I modified this car" story is dumb at all.. we're all in it together and Antilag wouldn't exist without people like us modifying and enjoying money pits :D

Soo... I'm really embarrassed to say, I cannot think of one thing that I've done that was TRULY dumb or stupid. Maybe I was sheltered or maybe I just had a huge desire to not be filtered out of the gene pool, but yeah I can't think of one thing in my life that I've done which even gets close to whats been put in this thread so far.

ditto, i have no contribution to this thread.
Clearly both too smart for our own good!

[Nickevox]

test driving my car straight off the dyno at 3 am with no headlights, bonnet, havent wheel aligned etc. procceded to do the maddest drift then loose it into a pole. peer pressures' a bitch.


haha I remember this! outside Speedworks

[ola]

Smashing Beer*r as people lined up to get into clubs, not sure if stupid or best idea I ever had tbh


So much win! :)

[Damo 69]

Kalamunda to Harvey in the same time, fucking retarded.


i thought i was bad ass doing east perth to harvey in an hour and 5m on the nose.

where you guys also on the desal project?

[d1mitch]

haha I remember this! outside Speedworks

haha yep, massive airtime lol

another one
walking to the pub with mates was throwing rocks at the our other group walking behind us with them reciprocating, i turn around to pick up another rock when wham right in the back of the head. keep walking then run my hands through my hair to find it soaked with blood, oh well get to the pub dry it off with some paper towels and keep drinking

[crabman]

Glass screw top wine bottle half full of water in a camp fire upside down. When the lid finally let go it shot over my head with a jet of boiling hot water spraying out the back. If we had petrol laying around we were going to try again.

Had potential to be a better post.

[cplagz]

haha yep, massive airtime lol

another one
walking to the pub with mates was throwing rocks at the our other group walking behind us with them reciprocating, i turn around to pick up another rock when wham right in the back of the head. keep walking then run my hands through my hair to find it soaked with blood, oh well get to the pub dry it off with some paper towels and keep drinking

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre0858l.jpg

[31-EVO]

i thought i was bad ass doing east perth to harvey in an hour and 5m on the nose.

where you guys also on the desal project?

Nah, I lived there some 12 years.
There was some sort of urban legand that they use to hold races from collie to bunbury down the hill, people doing the trip in 20 odd minutes etc, pingpingpingpings are loose down this way.

[Passage GT]

can't really recall any really stupid things.
did perth-wickham in about 13.5 hours which wasn't a bad effort
melb-perth we did in very good time also, i'd have to ask my mate and see if he recalls, was in a rb26dett equipped 32 gts-4
kal-perth in 4 hours 20 mins.

[31-EVO]

kal-perth in 4 hours 20 mins.

FACK

[Nickevox]

Sat on speed/rev limiter through the tunnel, both ways while smashing bee*r constantly.

Did a skid infront a cop also, that was stupid as it resulted in a 6 month ban which got downgraded to 2 months.

[DanWA]

Nah, I lived there some 12 years.
There was some sort of urban legand that they use to hold races from collie to bunbury down the hill, people doing the trip in 20 odd minutes etc, pingpingpingpings are loose down this way.

This topic comes up at the pub all the time from the older blokes haha

[TJ]

Genuine one for me - Bali, several large bintangs. Never ridden a motorised bike, hadnt ridden a normal bike in easily 10 years.

Decided it was an ideal time to rent scooters, get out on main road near airport, decide 90kmh is a good speed in shorts and shirt - helmet didnt fit so wasnt worn. Car pulls out, get a speed wobble, and slide into the median strip. Somehow keep it upright and power out.

Tore my shoe open, not a single scratch on feet. Tiny one where leg had touched the kerb.

Very lucky.

[Master D]

Best thing I ever done - becoming a dad
Worst thing I've ever done - my ex :-)

I think I've come out on par.

[crabman]

Did a skid infront a cop also, that was stupid as it resulted in a 6 month ban which got downgraded to 2 months.

I did this also, by accident. 5 guys kitted up for a domestic distrubance in Vic Park. I started to reverse to pull in behind their car, they thought i was getting ready to run, if it was Vic I probably would have been shot. No hoon law, and this was just after it was introduced. A yellow sticker though which caused every bad choice car related for the last 7 odd years lol.

[Nugs]

Genuine one for me - Bali, several large bintangs. Never ridden a motorised bike, hadnt ridden a normal bike in easily 10 years.

Decided it was an ideal time to rent scooters, get out on main road near airport, decide 90kmh is a good speed in shorts and shirt - helmet didnt fit so wasnt worn. Car pulls out, get a speed wobble, and slide into the median strip. Somehow keep it upright and power out.

Tore my shoe open, not a single scratch on feet. Tiny one where leg had touched the kerb.

Very lucky.
Not quite the same but first time I tried riding a scooter, I decided to try and do a wheelie in the back yard. Straight on my arse and broke all the plastic off the back of the sccoter.
There is video somewhere, it involves lots of laughing at me.

[Risk10k]

Allowed too many people to tell me what to do. It's fucking retarded.

Attempting to top myself. Also, not wise.

Driving from Cannington to byford with exhaust scraping on the ground.


Sold all of my possessions for a few hundred dollars, real fucking smart.

[benjamino]

Attempting to top myself. Also, not wise.


Wow.

Deep.

Elaborate?

[Frenchy]

Used to finish work in Kal and drive home after every stint. Up at 4am, 12hr shift, dinner then drive to Perth just to make it in time to get on the piss with the boys.
Did a couple of 4hr runs in my wrx. Used to smash no doze and redbull to keep me awake.

Fell asleep on the way to Perth also once while driving. How i didnt crash into a car / tree i will never know. Quit working in Kal that week and moved back to Perth.

[Denver]

Oh yeah. 200 through the tunnel. Both ways, dialed off my tree dropping my then at the time gf's best friend back. Mate in the back seat spewed his guts up as we got to her driveway.

[Sebdullah]

Car related
bought an R31
modded said R31
still have afforementioned R31
angle grinding in thongs
leaving car on a jack, not using stands
prolly countless others

General life
Married a muslim

[baz]

About 14 years old.
Got a compound bow.
Wondered how high in the air a steel tipped arrow would go.
Called out little brother and Sister to see also.
Fired said arrow straight up into air.
Immediatly lost sight of arrow and realised my error.
Little sister was the only one with enough sense to run back into house.
Brother & I stood there looking up to see arrow.
.........
Arrow landed almost between my brothers feet!
Brother not overly impressed!

[Brockas]

Befriended BLAAA.

[NoOg_sTaR]

Tried jumping a limestone wall whilst running, slipped and shins smashed onto the wall. 1" dent in leg and nerve damage for life.

Tried gaining power whilst cutting. Fucked my back (slipped disk) doing deadlifts, had to stop for 6 months.

Tried gaining power whilst cutting. Fucked my back doing deadlifts (tore my Quadratus lumborum), had to stop for 9 months. Originally thought I had to live life in a wheel chair due to 6 months of treatment with no improvement.

Currently cutting and still gaining power...

Dated a bat shit crazy bitch for egotistical gains. Required restraining order. She moved over east.

Dated a crazy bitch that was technically engaged. Karma is going to burn me hard.

Lived the party lifestyle on a daily basis during Uni days. Told by doctor I have liver damage at 22.

Started "social" drinking again.

Bought a Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Modified the Celica.

Broke the Celica.

Currently fixing the Celica...

Bought a 135i.

Modified the 135i.

Broke the 135i.

Modified the 135i.

Broke the 135i.

Modified the 135i.

Broke the 135i.

Modified the 135i.

Broke the 135i.

Modified the 135i.

Broke the 135i.

Modified the 135i.

Broke the 135i.

Currently fixing the 135i.














I do not fucking learn.

[Sebdullah]

LOL SAM

[AdN]

Just after i got off my P's brother asked me to take his genuine e30 325is to storage as he was leaving the country for a few years, took off around a corner lost back end and chopped the throttle, lost the tail end and wrapped it around a tree.

Have since learned when in doubt power out.

[Damo 69]

oh one that tops the genius ranks for me.

just got the XR8 back from a few bits and pieces and it was when Craig Puddy (murderer was from NOR btw) was murdered. turned off the esplanade gunned it looked ahead circa 30 fucking cops out the front of the murder house staring at this whiteXR8 on full noise, got off it and casually rolled passed. the one time a murder took priority over a person making excessive noise, ever

[huggy_b]

Car related
bought an R31
modded said R31
still have afforementioned R31
angle grinding in thongs
leaving car on a jack, not using stands
prolly countless others

General life
Married a muslim

Stopped eating delicious bacon for muslim wife - how did you leave that out?

[cplagz]

Befriended BLAAA.

Unfortunately (and regretfully) I think I'm responsible for this when he bought my TiAL V44 and I invited him to metro's for Kye's bday drinks!

[schnoods]

Apprentice Boilermaker, had a bit of welding to do in the welding bay, was also a smoker then, had cigarettes and a lighter in my shirt pocket. Was cruising on the mig welder, had a couple of spots to touch up on a platform and couldnt be fucked flipping it over so i crawl under and do a few overhead welds. Sparks rolling down on me, a hot bit of spatter went in the pocket, blew up my lighter, with my smokes and about a quarter of my shirt. Burnt a bit of skin and also copped a bit of plastic shrapnel from the lighter.

Also once tried to go through Maccas drive through in a wheelie bin, mate was inside, i was pushing. We were both pissed pretty bad, went through and wouldnt get served so i pushed back around to the joint next door where we got the bin from. He gets out and the bin fucking stinks and he gets a good whiff of himself. He throws up on himself and I'm keeled over with laughter. then the coppers rock up (prob called by maccas) and we get put in the drunk tank in the lock up overnight, in Darwin... only non abos in there...

[Damo 69]

Provide Janey with my work email.

[crabman]

My dad was a cop in the territory, that must've been a horrible night going off some of the stories I have been told lol.

[schnoods]

lol it was, definately an eye opener.

[ADZ]

Genuine one for me - Bali, several large bintangs. Never ridden a motorised bike, hadnt ridden a normal bike in easily 10 years.

Decided it was an ideal time to rent scooters, get out on main road near airport, decide 90kmh is a good speed in shorts and shirt - helmet didnt fit so wasnt worn. Car pulls out, get a speed wobble, and slide into the median strip. Somehow keep it upright and power out.

Tore my shoe open, not a single scratch on feet. Tiny one where leg had touched the kerb.

Very lucky.

No mention of setting face on fire?

[c.rusli]

Had massive close call,
this is year when they have massive work done on widening Leach to kwinana freeway back in 2004/2005

Just got my licence back then, and at one late night i think it was pass 1am on a weekend decided to took mum's car down the freeway how fast could it topped out.
max 220km/h on kwinana freeway. saw road work sign after the bridge and cars was slowing down.
foot was welded on the floor to the brake pedals, trying to stop a toyota avalon from 220 to 0, doing massive lock up and spun the car side ways few times, hitting few road signs at the fender, and got my self ditched in the old median strip where leach use to joins with the freeway south.

pushed the car out, quickly drive away whilst people was watching wtf is going on

drove home with flat spot tyres and only a dent on the front fender.
told my parents some one was drunk and hit the car whilst parking in northbridge.

few mates was inside the car, and we literally shat our self and always laugh about it when we recall that moment...

[Brett_J]

Dated a crazy bitch that was technically engaged. Karma is going to burn me hard.


I fucked a chick who was engaged, on her 5th year anniversary of being with him, fucked her so hard that on the vinegar stroke I pulled out too far, in my rush to unleash hot fury inside her, I just smashed it back in that direction, straight up her ass, tore something inside her and poured a goodly amount of baby Bretts up her clacker.
She had to make up some excuse why he couldn't get his anniversary sexy times.
See you in Hell :)

I was going to wrote more stories, but I don't see them as dumb, just fucking funny, lol

[Alt_F4]

Drunk Twisty... everytime.

[Fukushima]

carpet cleaned the 34 about 10 hours before I'm meant to run a cruise

[Gonzola]

Building evo motor then taking a job overseas...

Selling DESAM8 to someone who molested it royally :(

Thinking I was Valentino Rossi at 17 on a ZZR250 with no license and ending up in Joondalup hospital.

Thinking I was Travis Pastrana on a Husaberg FS650 and ending up in Joondalup hospital.

Going to Joondalup hospital in general.

[Evman]

...we literally shat our self...

Literally = it actually happened. You actually shat yourselves?

[mehow2g]

When I was 5 I found my dads bullets so I decided to through them on the road hard as I could infront of me I set it off lucky it didn't hit me. Proceeded to tell my mates so we put them on the floor and through rocks on top of them.

[TJ]

No mention of setting face on fire?

Correct.

[mr_mike]

When I was 5 I found my dads bullets so I decided to through them on the road hard as I could infront of me I set it off lucky it didn't hit me. Proceeded to tell my mates so we put them on the floor and through rocks on top of them.

*throw

also what sort of bullet explodes when u throw it on the ground?
I'm not the full quid on bullets but dont they have to be struck on the priming cap at the rear for it to go off?

[Fozzy]

Rim fire would go bang if unstable/hit hard enough.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/44/Centerfire_%26_rimfire_ignition.gif/250px-Centerfire_%26_rimfire_ignition.gif

[Liberator]

being idiotic as a younger child , im sure people have done it , some havent i look at is as atleast i can stand back and say yep i acted stupid here and need to " grow up"
not the brightest moment but im sure alot of people have tried ,

being a dumb fuck at 16 tried lighting deodorant cans on fire did it a few times successfully so decided to strap 4 together and give that a go , ( insert jackass dont try this at home ) 3 of them blew up !, some smart motherfucker mate decided it would be a good idea to smash it with a pole like object ( while 3 of us were wondering why it didnt ignite ) , im sure everyone here can guess what happened when it became compressed , its good to say one eyebrow and a very red and sore face was what i received and we all stopped being idiots with deodorant cans that night ..

[mr_mike]

few ppl have lost eye brows here, heres my tale. about 17 years old and driving around in my mates VK sedan shooting letterboxs with a very large PVC spud gun. pull up out front of a house, poke the barrel out the rear left window and we proceed to charge the gun with some Aerostart when a woman comes out the front door, my mates yells "someones coming quick" just as i am screwing the end cap back on the chamber. As anyone who has played with one of these type of spud guns will be full aware its pretty easy to cross thread the end cap. And you guessed it as i hurried to screw the end cap on it cross threaded so i just held my hand against the lid and yelled to my mate to fire. When he did the end cap burst of blowing my hand back against the window/door frame and engulfing the whole rear seat in an Aerostart fire ball. I lost eye brows and some hair on my arm, mate lost RH eyebrow and cinged hair on the RHS of his head.
Mate in the front was lookin in rear vision mirror at the time and reckons all he seen was a massive yellow flash.

Pretty lucky the very non fire retardent VK seats and head liner didnt catch fire

[shane]

When I was at high school in metalwork class our teacher bought in the exhaust off his falcon to oxy weld up his muffler. He put it on the large metal bench which had multiple oxy torches and started welding. For some reason I thought it would be funny to go and turn the acetylene on one of the other torches and hang it in the end of the tail pipe while he had the mask on and could't see me. It seemed to take forever to fill the exhaust with acetylene and with each passing second i new it was going to be bad and mite not of been the smartest thing i'd done. Eventually the acetylene reached the muffler while he was welding it and blew up with so much force it opened the muffler up flat and sent a fireball all the way to the ceiling knocking the teacher out cold, burning off his hair and beard and perforating his ear drum. Probably the dumbest thing I've ever done, but the list is long.

[mr_mike]

When I was at high school in metalwork class our teacher bought in the exhaust off his falcon to oxy weld up his muffler. He put it on the large metal bench which had multiple oxy torches and started welding. For some reason I thought it would be funny to go and turn the acetylene on one of the other torches and hang it in the end of the tail pipe while he had the mask on and could't see me. It seemed to take forever to fill the exhaust with acetylene and with each passing second i new it was going to be bad and mite not of been the smartest thing i'd done. Eventually the acetylene reached the muffler while he was welding it and blew up with so much force it opened the muffler up flat and sent a fireball all the way to the ceiling knocking the teacher out cold, burning off his hair and beard and perforating his ear drum. Probably the dumbest thing I've ever done, but the list is long.

Tat is fucking epic!!!! outcome?

[shane]

Tat is fucking epic!!!! outcome?
Expelled from school but since there were no other schools I could go to i was eventually allowed back but spent the last year and a half of school doing all my school work at a desk out side the principles office. Other than sport i wasn't allowed to take any classes with other kids or allowed in any class rooms again.

[mr_mike]

Expelled from school but since there were no other schools I could go to i was eventually allowed back but spent the last year and a half of school doing all my school work at a desk out side the principles office. Other than sport i wasn't allowed to take any classes with other kids or allowed in any class rooms again.


thats pretty fuct up, now claim u have PTS disorder and try get some money out the government

[wormbo2]

So many good stories in here!

One of mine:
Got my first car, at 17. Red 91 Nissan Pulsar. Decided handbrake up>drop clutch skids were the bomb, until the handbrake failed and I rocketed out of the cul de sac 0-40kmh in 3 seconds style, neighbour comes cruising up the street and I've nailed him RHF corner dead on into his front end, wrote them both off, and had to pay his excess and all sorts of shit. Lesson learned.....

Bought a VR commodore, bolted on some headers, bunky ass 'free flowing' bitser exhaust, mini spooled it and pod filter uleh.
Proceeded to do skids EVERYWHERE for 2 weeks. Then one time I forgot to check for 1st gear before initiating skid, slammed it from Neutral to 1st at about 4000rpm, nek minnit CLUNK, whiirrrrrr. Stripped the input shaft on le automatic. Dad not impressed at calling favours from the tow bloke.
be me, rocking the KF ford laser, decided a bush hack would be fun, drove it through the dirt, nearly bogged a few times, but survived, then reached some sort of gate, decided I could fit between that and the rocks blocking the sides. NOPE! Dented/scratched every panel on the RHS, lost 2 hubcaps. Spewin!

Not the stupidest shit on here, but expensive few lessons haha.

Was cutting a piece of timber with a saber saw, thought to myself "stupid thing will probably slip and cut my fingers off, but did it anyway, super carefully, blade got stuck and as I yanked to free it the fucker kicked again and cut 1/3 way into my index finger. At first I was all like "sweet, not even bleeding...." Then it proceeded to burn like hellfire and ooze blood profusely. Fuck.

Fucked a chick once at a party, oh so high and drunk, then halfway through the job my mates bust in and are all like " let's go pingpingpingping, Huey's gonna smash ya! Move man" so running up the driveway pulling my jeans up with a rubber still attached, big kiwi tribe in tow, and kinda dived into the car as they started chucking bottles and shit, realised it cost a few friendships and had to wash the getaway car, fun times.

Stole a forklift once. Another member on here was with me, took the wheel and beached the fucker on a curb 200 metres up the road. Was going to drive it to kwinana for shits and giggles, had to walk 5k's to nearest BP, realised we were criminals and hid in the bush every time a car went past. Not so funny.

[mys1]

Let my misses who fucked members on this site defend me when I was attacked by cyber bullies.
I then proceeded to keep posting stuff when clearly I should have just logged out and never come back.

Fixed

[R3N]

Wore white socks with black pants once... Was pretty dumb

[SSICK]

droppin bombs.

[Niva]

farted in a chicks face that me and a mate had just tagged knowing she was a looper, got stabbed

took mates sisters car out without her knowledge, mate rolled it and told the cops it was stolen by coons from joondalup. cops sore straight through it

started a trashed out van that had been sitting at the abandoned petrol station down the road for months, did a skid. moved less than 5 meters total. got done for car theft

pissy drove

[Blueraven]

Rolled a mates mums brand new car on leavers in dunsborough. No licence, all agreed to say it was my mate so insurance would cover it. Girl in the back had to wear a neck brace for ages, but came out ok, felt terrible for a long time about that one.

Dropping 20k+ on an astra. Sure it was fun...but fuck.

Northbridge to Geraldton in under 3 hours at 3 am on a Honda Blackbird. Grandfather had passed away, got text from father overseas to remind me the funeral was was changed to be on Saturday at 8...NOT SUNDAY. Was at a ministry gig at the time...

South Perth to Margaret river in a bit under 2 hours. Booty call at 10pm offering disgusting things if i made it by midnight, if you saw her, you would have too. Funnily enough, got pinged on the way back twice for 10 over :(

When I was dating the hottest chic i have ever been with, and coincidentally going through a fittest/lowest bodyfat and gym junkie/triathlon phase and not drinking for a few months, decide to go toe to toe with her 'best friend' guy on tequila shots. Blacked out, came too being carried out of Redheads, apparently had picked a fight with the friend, I clocked him then got pounded by him and 2 others and left in the toilets covered in spew. She claimed she didnt see any of it and everything was still cool between us...ended up with death threats from her mate to stay away and then no more calls from her...doh.

A lot of things that honestly give me shivers down my spine when i think of them that i did in South africa and somehow got away with them/wasnt killed for/didnt get aids.

[RICEY]

Admitting I shat in the shower which will now be the only thing everyone thinks of now when my name is mentioned.

"Hey have you seen Ricey?"

"Isnt he that guy that shat in the shower?"

[wormbo2]

Welcome to the club mate. Enjoy.

[ho57ile]

Gambled on a fart 2 hours into 26 hours worth of flying and lost. Lucky I didn't have to sit next to me.

Coming home from 2 months in Europe. My mate and I spent about 12 hours at Heathrow airport drinking double shots of bundy (first time I'd seen it since I left aus). We got on the plane and took full advantage of the free booze till I passed out. I woke up just in time for breakfast feeling hungover as all hell, ate the weird asian noodle breaky then had to leg it to the dunnys, spewed everywhere, covered the walls, floor, ceiling everything.

Made it to singapore, got on to the connecting flight, tried to sleep/hold back more vomit, mate next to me got some asian fish for lunch, the smell set me off,I hopped over him to leg it to the dunnys again (forgot about the airsick bag) but I didn't make it this time, caught the spew in my mouth, I had my hand on my mouth trying my best to keep it in then the second round came up, the pressure was too much and It all let go, but i kept my hand on my mouth and all the spew sprayed out the side all over this elderly man and his wife. Got the biggest death stare, tried my best to appologize while running to the toilet to spew some more. I felt so fucking bad, considering this guy had to sit on the plane for 3 more hours covered in some dickheads vomit.

[heavyduty1340]

Admitting I shat in the shower which will now be the only thing everyone thinks of now when my name is mentioned.

"Hey have you seen Ricey?"

"Isnt he that guy that shat in the shower?"

There is some shit you don't admit to man!!

[SimonR32]

Funneled a full cask of goon that I had flogged from Mum's kitchen at university orientation day...

Took about half an hour to start spewing before I ended up passing out, had fallen into the river during this time (so was covered in mud). Someone called my mother to pick me up, she was not impressed to find I was missing most of my hair plus one and a half eyebrows by the time she arrived!

[BLACK HULK]

http://i1041.photobucket.com/albums/b415/Xavier_Keenan/this_thread_delivers_ups_chick_amaz-1.jpg

[mr_mike]

Funneled a full cask of goon that I had flogged from Mum's kitchen at university orientation day...

Took about half an hour to start spewing before I ended up passing out, had fallen into the river during this time (so was covered in mud). Someone called my mother to pick me up, she was not impressed to find I was missing most of my hair plus one and a half eyebrows by the time she arrived!

when i seen ur name popped up i thought it would read "sent a certain picture to mates"

[wormbo2]

Fixed

Lol, just read that.

You're quite a funny bloke. Should catch up for a drink some time....

So we can compare stories of how you fucked her once, and I still am, and you're still hung up bout it, but nobody really actually cares anymore. :)

Xo

[Trolley]

I'm not sure if it's too many brains or not enough testicles but I feel soft as fuck as I have no stories of epic stupidity. I do have a terrible memory though.

I remember as a ten year old, my friend and I were lobbing small, green unripe lemons over the back fence like hand grenades. We were lobbing them adjacent to a lady hanging out her washing. We weren't trying to hit her, but suddenly heard a baby cry. We shat and took off out of the yard and (stupidly) hung around the front of the house. We should have just jumped on our bikes and fucked off to the mate's place. About 10 minutes later a lady came walking down the road pushing a pram. Sitting in the pram was a baby with a massive red lump just above its eye. It was obviously us and she started tearing us a new one, saying that she had called the Police and such. Luckily she didn't attempt to speak to my parents otherwise my old man would have fucking caned me.

[Sensible]

Had to be at the airport by 4am for a early fight to Scotland, thought it would be a good idea to go and have a few quite beers after work
Don't remember getting home, I got a wake up call from mates at 3am to make sure I made the flight
Don't remember the taxi ride to the airport or checking in or boarding, Fuck knows why they let me fly
Flying with a hangover is never a good move
I got to the stop over in Dubai had forgot toothbrush, deodorant and sunnies

The holiday was uneventful
Returning home to a sink full of Spew after 4 weeks in Europe with the G/F that had left australia a week before me didn't go down to well

[mys1]

Lol, just read that.

You're quite a funny bloke. Should catch up for a drink some time....

So we can compare stories of how you fucked her once, and I still am, and you're still hung up bout it, but nobody really actually cares anymore. :)

Xo

It wasn't the high point of my sexual filanthapy let's give you the hint!

Honestly I think I'd punch you in the face if I had beers with you - it might actually nock some sense into you!

[Brett_J]

It wasn't the high point of my sexual filanthapy let's give you the hint!

Honestly I think I'd punch you in the face if I had beers with you - it might actually nock some sense into you!

So Angry !

*Hands over the throne :)

[mr_mike]

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5383444480/h2A032916/

[Liberator]

When I was at high school in metalwork class our teacher bought in the exhaust off his falcon to oxy weld up his muffler. He put it on the large metal bench which had multiple oxy torches and started welding. For some reason I thought it would be funny to go and turn the acetylene on one of the other torches and hang it in the end of the tail pipe while he had the mask on and could't see me. It seemed to take forever to fill the exhaust with acetylene and with each passing second i new it was going to be bad and mite not of been the smartest thing i'd done. Eventually the acetylene reached the muffler while he was welding it and blew up with so much force it opened the muffler up flat and sent a fireball all the way to the ceiling knocking the teacher out cold, burning off his hair and beard and perforating his ear drum. Probably the dumbest thing I've ever done, but the list is long.

question is did you like the teacher ?

[S85FI]

Did the same with a 120lb Compound bow with reflex strings.... out of sight... didn't come down. Walking home and there is a kid holding the arrow that he found in the shopping centre car park some 300m away....

Didn't do that again.


About 14 years old.
Got a compound bow.
Wondered how high in the air a steel tipped arrow would go.
Called out little brother and Sister to see also.
Fired said arrow straight up into air.
Immediatly lost sight of arrow and realised my error.
Little sister was the only one with enough sense to run back into house.
Brother & I stood there looking up to see arrow.
.........
Arrow landed almost between my brothers feet!
Brother not overly impressed!

[S85FI]

*throw

also what sort of bullet explodes when u throw it on the ground?
I'm not the full quid on bullets but dont they have to be struck on the priming cap at the rear for it to go off?

Bolt bombs perhaps... LOL

Correct unless you place them in a vice and use a blunt pin punch :(

[S85FI]

Rim fire would go bang if unstable/hit hard enough.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/44/Centerfire_%26_rimfire_ignition.gif/250px-Centerfire_%26_rimfire_ignition.gif

Who uses Rim fire in this modern age?

[Liberator]

Admitting I shat in the shower which will now be the only thing everyone thinks of now when my name is mentioned.

"Hey have you seen Ricey?"

"Isnt he that guy that shat in the shower?"
just set up your own nickname bud haha gold material though!

[wormbo2]

It wasn't the high point of my sexual filanthapy let's give you the hint!

Hmmm... 2 minutes will have that effect.

*philanthropy

[S85FI]

Tat is fucking epic!!!! outcome?

* That :p

That is the best so far!

[Lonewolf]

Who uses Rim fire in this modern age?

.22LR is still pretty damn popular

[S85FI]

Made spud gun like we all do, Areostart didn't cut it after a while. Was using 60mm odd pipe and forcing whole spuds in there. Upgraded to acetylene and a squirt of oxygen. Haven't used a spud gun since.

Learnt about weather balloons and just started to get into the science class at school. Learn what one can do with hydrochloric acid and aluminium. Filled weather balloon with Hydrogen gas and made a fuse about 3m long. Balloon went bang so hard it took out the shed windows, neighbours windows. Put science away for a while.

Thought I'd do power slides on the blue metal (Train Ballast) that runs along train tracks, did this for a couple of hours with some mates, train came, we paniced and took off..... not a good outlook for the train with nothing supporting the track.....

Threw tins of baked beans in the fire at someone's camp site at Waroona dam. Who would thought when the cans exploded the beans would be hot enough to melt through all the tents... packed camp site.

Camping again, pissed as magots thought we would play chase the roos on the bikes, clip one, cook one, feed the ranger roo meat the next day. All was good until ranger looked into tree with roo carcus hanging strategically out of the tree....

Waroona dam wall, riding up it them jumping onto the road way - not that bad until you drive home and release that at no time we could see the general traffic.

Stupid dam brings the best out of me... Jet skiing at night with cylume sticks tied around our necks, great idea until you fell off and no one on the other skis had a clue where the actual run away jetski was...

Camping again... made a dry ice bomb and none of us had an idea on explosion time.... panicked and threw it down a long drop. Didn't go off for ages. When it did.... not sure if it was methane gas or the dry ice explosion but dam... it mad a mess.

Glad to say I've grown up....

[MMM]

Pissed on the hot rocks in a sauna once. Fucking STUNK!

[shane]

question is did you like the teacher ?
He was actually one of the teachers I liked, it wasn't done out of malice or any thing like that. It was just one of those spare of the moment things that seem like a good idea at the time but quickly turns into an oh shit what have I done moment. But combined with a few other things I'd done the school was convinced I was a psychopath.

[Trolley]

Seems a few of us had a penchant for throwing and firing things into the air as youngsters. I just remembered a couple of other soft-cock mischievous activities...

While visiting a family friend's house the son and I used to regularly smash rocks as far as we could from the backyard with tennis racquets. Fuck they used to fly! We never did it again after hearing the sound of breaking glass.
In high school my best friend lived in Crestwood Estate, Thornlie. In summer when I used to stay over, we along with his older brother would grab plastic bags full of grapes that his family had growing along with decent sized super soakers filled with vinegar and water (stunk like hell). Around 10-11pm at night we would walk around the estate via all the footpaths/reserves that backed directly onto all the houses and sneakily spray people sitting down watching TV through the fly-wire of their open windows. Occasionally we would come across a house that had a sliding door open, so we would lob a handful of grapes through the door. After a few of these fun filled nights, there was an article in the estate newsletter alerting residents to these actions. My mate's parents straight away knew it was us as they had grapes in their backyard and promptly banned me from staying over.

[S85FI]

.22LR is still pretty damn popular

Wow, only .22 rounds I use are sub sonic....

[Brett Allan]

Few years ago..

17 and fun and games with deodorant cans..
"nang" (compressed CO2 canisters) bought at the local Deli, taped 4 deo cans and a couple of these canisters together.
Ground up sparkler and one single sparkler as the fuse.

Crazy old guy who lived down the street, his brand new limestone mailbox..

Got blown to shit, debris shattered 2 windows of his FPV and a couple of house windows, he chased us for a good 800m down the street with a machete. FUN


Spud guns, thought it would be an awesome idea to make a buckshot round... Ball bearings, lead fishing weights, in they went, shot clean through neighbours fence, broke a few windows and did a lot of damage.

Lost facial hair/arm hair/eyebrows etc more times than I can count, spud gun backfires..

Built a stun gun pushing out 9000V, brought it to school and shocked some kid I didn't like...near expulsion, many hours detention...behavioural management,
school therapist etc

On a camping trip, decided to chuck 10 batteries in the fire, lots of small explosions ensued and almost set the whole bush alight... :/

Good times...

[MMM]

Called an African american looking person a nigger. Got chased by 300 angry people shortly after.

[racegtst]

oh, so many to choose from.

On holiday in country Victoria and went horse riding with my cousin. i was about 10yo.

Finished and we were waiting for pick up but parents got held up. We were on a farm so i started walking to the gate (a few k's away) and come across a few ol cars so i was going through them and found some matches.

Started to light little chunks of dead grass and then put it out. One got away from me so i ran like a little mother fucker. Parents turn up 10 minutes later and the front 100 is on fire. They collect my cousin and casually wisk me away.

Old man later learnt that the fire burnt out about 20 acres and come within 50m of a rather expensive and brand new combine harvester.

I never played with matches ever again. Got my arse kicked big time.

[masTers]

I got on some tea cup ride with some blokes from here one day in Singapore....

[flamo_damo]

Selling DESAM8 to someone who molested it royally :(


Hey....

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQDcjysYSo9m8kTn3gwu5H9BY47oFwwx Lj-I8-PcA33cmgSJaVTcw

[Crammit]

it might actually nock some sense into you!

LOL doubt it! At Tristan's birthday he cleared a room better than the filthiest after grog fart and still didn't get the hint when he got told he wasn't liked.



I got on some tea cup ride with some blokes from here one day in Singapore....
Still one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Wish I was going back this year.
<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/g3kfyHgVsik" frameborder="0" width="606" height="340"></iframe>

[RGVFAST]

Seen many a bin run almost go pear shape, results could have ended in serious injury or worse.

But worth it for the laughs.

[YOUR MATE]

Everyone has that one last time they used a spud gun. We'd use frozen whole lemons in mine. One got stuck and just couldn't push it in any further, so what the hell just fire the bastard out. More volume in the chamber as it was half down the barrel, screw cap back on and pop it. Cap shatters sending PVC through my hand. The shot before my brother had hit a car 2 streets away. Never again fucked with it.

Metalwork in year 11. Wooden blocks in the welding stalls to rest your work on. Thought it would be piss funny to soak them in anything and everything flammable I could find in the woodwork and arts rooms. Mate goes to start welding, whole stall lights up, shit drips all over his shoes so he begins jumping around to try get it out. His pants end up burnt up one leg. No one knows it was me.

The extractor system for all the gear in woodwork. Unplug the hose to the back of the lathe, hold a full tin of varnish under it and watch it do a full Twister spec entry into the ducts. Smoke starts pissing out from the bin under the extractor soon after.

Making match bombs at school. Just had to keep making them bigger and better. Putting sparkler dust and all sorts of shit in there. Friend made up some HMTD so we combined the two and I throw it at a table. Proceeds to burn down.

[Evman]

Back when I was 8 or 9 I used to go shooting in the bush next to our farm house every day after school with an air rifle. Thought I'd shoot a knot in an old wooden upright to test the sites (they were adjustable open sites for varying distances), lined up the rifle, shot, felt something hit my right (leading) hand (I'm a lefty). Realised the pellet had rebounded off the post and come back and hit me. I was amused, so did it again and managed to hit my leading hand again. Then I realised that my eyes were only a few inches at most above where I got hit, so a fraction of a degree extra elevation and I'd have been getting a pellet smack around my eyes somewhere.

When I was in my early teens I rolled a 1980s 350cc 4-wheeled ag bike - which weigh a tonne - at 40km/h (max speed for the bike) with steel tube bars front and rear for carrying shit on. The bike rolled over me handlebars and steel work down which put me out for a while. I was coming back from the bus so was in t-shirt and shorts and was about 100m from the house but no one else was home, so when I came to I ended up dragging myself to the house because I couldn't walk due to the pain. No major injuries in the end thank fuck but I had awesome bruises all over. Mum wasn't impressed but was more happy than anything because she didn't come home to me with my head crushed or a broken back. Started wearing a helmet on the 4-wheeler after that.

Kind of glad I haven't done anything too ridiculous.

[Phyber]

Great thread, lots of laughs and "OMFG" moments.

Got up to most of my dumbest stuff back in primary school years. About age 9-10 I used to ride home after school with a mate. There was one of those public laneways between buildings on a block, which was very gravely and overgrown, I never saw anyone use it, ever. One fence was old pickets, the house looked derelict to us with dark dirty windows, overgrown garden and perpetually empty busted old pool closest to us (pickets were his back fence). Bored one arvo and we found you could pull the pickets right off...proceeded to lean them against nearby super 6 fencing and kick them in half (TMNT!!). Pulled off half a dozen or so and that left a hole in the fence so naturally we climbed in as a big plant there made a cool cubby. Got bolder one day and noted black containers in the pool...I can't remember if we heaved them out or not to gain access to the fluid but I remember having eye droppers we stole from science class in school, filling them with this acid and dropping it on bugs. Slaters go white. Anyway we got bored of the acid and the eye droppers rubber started to break down also. We start wandering near the house a couple visits later and got close enough to realise there were huge cages with fine wire at the rear of the house. Walked right up, had a proper look and they were full of living finches and whatnot. As my brain started to put 2 and 2 together about this abandoned house, this old bloke appears from the darkness (that's how I remember it visually but I'm sure he just walked out the back door) and starts talking to us about the birds and how they are nice and shit. I was freaked out thinking he should be screaming at us for slowly destroying his fence, mucking around with his acid and trespassing for weeks on end, wtf. My generally doughy/bad influence mate seemed happy to chat away but my brain said to GTFO so we split. Might have been a genuinely nice old dude, but could have been a little boy rapist torturer murderer just as easily, watching us fucking up his fence etc... yeah. Never told mum.

Doughy mate got hold of double sided razor blades in year 7. He snapped them in half and taped them to a popsicle stick, called them paper cutters. I went to recess holding one, played dodge ball and tried to block a hit to the face with my arm. The blade hit my nose from underneath and chopped the cartilage kinda deep. Everyone was saying I was bleeding except him, lol. Can still feel the bumpy join between my nostrils :) Mum FLIPPED OUT saying I could have chopped my nose off, hahaha.


Around 11-12yo mum and I house shared with a cool hippie chemist bloke that eventually moved out from lack of rent and left his shed full of random chemicals and shit (he showed me how to make black powder at one point and then gave it to me to use...awesome). Had a dig around, came out with safety goggles, glass test tubes and another one of those big black (20L?) plastic containers of hydrochloric acid (I considered myself a veteran now), also primer caps. Watched too much Ren and Stimpy...engage mad scientist mode! Primer caps turned the acid green in beakers which was cool, think there was copper in them from memory. Hit them with a hammer mostly though to hear the massive bang. Dropped many a poor bug in the acid. Then got brave and decided to shower the wasp nest in the lemon tree and kill them all for mum. Kill them it did not. Flew out and went at me, one landed on my singlet (scientist singlet, you understand), somehow I avoided getting stung as I piss bolted to the house. Ripped off the singlet fearing acid burns and there was a massive foot long acid stain in the middle which had flicked back from the leaves I guess. The only personal damage from the acid was from the fumes while pouring/stirring...a lovely chemical peel on my hand, skin went yellow front and back after a few days of playing with the HCl and I was able to peel a big sheet of skin off revealing new pink growth, was the best to show off with to friends at school!! Glad I didn't melt my face off in hindsight. Mum said be more careful.

Same house when I was left alone for an hour, grabbed the guys worn old crossbow off the wall of his room and went into backyard (1/4 acre block). Had only one bolt. I had to sit on the ground with my feet on the stave and pull back the (frayed) string with both hands to get it cocked, barely managed it. Placed the bolt in there and fired it from the hip at the big tree in the backyard, fucking thing stuck so hard I almost couldn't get it back out which had me shitting bricks due to obvious evidence of tomfoolery...but it came free and no one ever found out :) Was scared at the speed and power so once was enough. Could have killed a neighbour no sweat.

Thanks to the black powder experience I then got addicted to buying sparklers and grinding the dust off, filling tin cans/glass jars and lighting them with a magnifying glass, while they sat on the wooden fence. Epic flame jets 1m high, huge plumes of smoke on the neighbour's washing and melting lava balls made for a great time! Never considered the wood and long dry grass in the backyard. Not sure mum realised what I was up to.

Still the same house and we had a lamp blow a cord, must have gotten chewed by a mouse or something. It wasn't binned, just left unused (big mistake, engage scientist mode). I chopped the cord off at the popped bit and was left with just a two prong electrical plug with a couple of metres of wires out of it ...and a lot of slugs under things in the backyard. You can see where this is going. I peeled the wires apart at the exposed end and stripped back a little. Now I knew I would die if I made myself part of the circuit so safety was a high priority. Donned the safety glasses from the shed again and grabbed a tupperware container from the kitchen to put the slugs in as plastic doesn't conduct and I expected a mess (was in the lounge room). No gloves though. Plugged it in with the wires well apart, switched it on. So far so good. Oh. So. Carefully...touched one wire to a slug. Nothing. Brought the second one in slowly, nervously...I was imagining a cartoon scene BZZZZTTTT with blue halo and a smoking corpse leftover neatly contained by the tupperware. Wire got close enough to the slug and FUCKENBANG the thing exploded and the tupperware went flying, through dumb luck I held on to control the wires movement and didn't get zapped myself thank fuck. That was the end of playing with mains power. Footnote, tupperware was fucked and had a big black burn where the slug was -> bin. Definitely hid that from mum.




Man being a kid was awesome :/







Dumbest things I've done while an "adult" are date an 18yo chick when I was like 22, who lied about her age and was a fucking handful, constant fights/attention whoring. Like daily fights, seriously. Broke it off and sent her back to SA (...yeah) then got back with her a year later...still tapped in the head so that was it.

Also showed off a "home video" without consent...nearly cost me the love of my life. Never again, what the fuck was I thinking!?!?!

[MirKz]

Got a few, probably not all that great in comparison to some of these.

When my brother and I were quite young, we used to grab these little fungus things from the ground and throw them around, and they'd create a smoke cloud.
One day we thought it'd be a good idea to throw them on the road from the bush as cars went past, one car actually hauled brakes fkn quick smart as we had thrown a few out and we piss bolted. Got away.

Playing with my mates nitro rc car one day, we decide to create some fun using the nitro.
Went onto the road in front of his house, we put some nitro over the soles of my shoes and lit it... that shit is fkn slippery, I almost went ass up on the road.. so I ran off road and through a grassy area. My bro and mate were chasing me putting out spot fires.
We then continued to develop this madness, by grabbing our bmx, pouring petrol over the back wheel enough to only light the rubber, not the rest of it. Lit it up, did some awesome skids whilst trying to get traction, apparently there was a wall of fire coming off the rear tyre.
We then went a step further and decided to pour petrol down the side of a water catchment area next to my friends house. It was full of sand, only freshly made. We'd pour it down, light it up, and jump from the top of the hill down into the fire and quickly run off before we got burnt.
I think we got a few singed leg hairs but that was all.

Another time, I found a camera my folks had bought me, had no film in it, but the flash still worked.
Went outside at night, hid in the bushes, and as cars would go past we'd use the flash to pretend people got caught... until one car pulled into the next road (the one we lived on), and tried to come looking for us.
we shit ourselves and hid in the neighbours front yard watching as my friend's dad circles the block looking for us.

Having had my licence for a few months and feeling somewhat confident in my driving ability, as we all do.
It was raining on and off, I got near home and thought I'd try my first snakey out of a roundabout. Mid way through the roundabout, kicked my ole VP V6 commodore in the guts (and and yanked on the steering to try and get it to kick)...
It kicked alright... the car went one way, then the other, then back the other as I tried to correct. Then spun 180 degrees and hit the box curb on the island in the middle of the road, kicking me up into the air, clearing the rest of the island, skidding across the other side of the road up another box curb on the other side and landed perfectly between two solid tree trucks, one less than 2ft in front, the other less than 6ft behind. Scared the fk outta me. Called mum and she freaked out, luckily was close to home, another guy rocked up in his 4wd as he'd heard the skids etc from his house nearby, and he dragged my car out. I think he towed it home, I cant remember.
Good news was that my dad didn't kick my ass, I also got my gf to stay over and stay in the same room as me for the first time because my mum was worried I might go into shock.

After half a year or more on my first motorbike (250 Hyosung), had been getting into the whole 'knee down' thing.
I'd been trying to touch my knee down in my jeans for a little while here and there, and there was a corner near home I had recently worked out I could do it on.
After 2 previously successful attempts at random times coming home, this particular time I missed a gear, went down into 1st. No problem I thought... click back to 2nd, and proceed to try my knee down antics.
Well I managed to get it down, followed by the bike, elbow etc.
Quickly got up and managed to lift the bike up and got the fk outta there before anyone saw.. Didn't think at the time that I'd washed off all the forward momentum I had when I'd dropped to 1st by mistake.

[Niva]

bought a GSRX 750 for my first bike ever.

hit 250, shat bricks... then sat up. was honestly about 2mm from losing grip on the bars when the wind hit me... resulting speed wobble led to a cinder block leaving my asshole.

doing it again as soon as I packed my intestines back up my ring, determined to do 300 before I sold it.

[evo5aurus]

Back when I was 8 or 9 I used to go shooting in the bush next to our farm house every day after school with an air rifle. Thought I'd shoot a knot in an old wooden upright to test the sites (they were adjustable open sites for varying distances), lined up the rifle, shot, felt something hit my right (leading) hand (I'm a lefty). Realised the pellet had rebounded off the post and come back and hit me. I was amused, so did it again and managed to hit my leading hand again. Then I realised that my eyes were only a few inches at most above where I got hit, so a fraction of a degree extra elevation and I'd have been getting a pellet smack around my eyes somewhere.


have a similar story.

Used to spend most of my school holidays on a family farm when I was growing up. Had a .22 pump action boys rifle (was fucking old but so much win) being the genius I am I decided to shoot at an old tractor tyre that was leaning up against a tree. Heard the round ricochet of a water tank about a metre directly behind me, it had bounced off the tyre and came straight back at me. next time I shot at the tyre I made sure I was hiding behind something haha

[Liberator]

He was actually one of the teachers I liked, it wasn't done out of malice or any thing like that. It was just one of those spare of the moment things that seem like a good idea at the time but quickly turns into an oh shit what have I done moment. But combined with a few other things I'd done the school was convinced I was a psychopath.

awww yea had a few of those , decided in metal work that i was " smarter " then the system , sort of . so i decided to take my lunch token ( pretty much a whole saw cut out Piece of acrylic colored for each day of the week with engraved LSHS ) measure it up and try and replicate one, only found no drill bit to cut it directly out , remembered dad had some at home so i go with borrowed some acrylic started cutting heheh . only thing left to do was engrave the LSHS in it , at this point in life i was a shit engraver , so soon bought one of my mates into my idea to engrave it and 2 days later had about 20 lunch tokens . We waited a week untill it was the right day , and started handing them in for free lunches, thought i was a freaking genies ,
well about 2 days later the canteen caught onto what we were doing when they realized they had more tokens then food and people still trying to hand tokens in . teachers caught on fast and we all got busted metalwork teacher told me it was the best replicas he had seen though haha =)

[Matty180]

Me and a mate made a bow from a tree branch. Used fishing line as the string and it actually worked pretty well. We were playing around with it at the local oval shooting home made arrows and they were going about 100 meters. we took it to his backyard and started shooting them into the trees when a bees nest fell out right next to us, fuck me never ran so hard in my life.

Use to a racquet and hit small rocks over the neighbour hood till one guy came out one day and shouted "I can see you" .. instant ninja reflexes against fence hoping he didn't see me.

Another is me and a mate use to make sparkler bombs and place them in the public oval toilets. First time we did it we filled 1/3 of a 2l coke bottle and hid in the cubicle.. we lit it but didnt think much of what would happen. 3 seconds later theres sparks and fireballs going up the roof and over in the cubicle we were standing in. Came out with singed hair haha.

Then we had another idea of filling it half full and putting the cap on. we waited outside this time. But this time the gasses inside built up so much it exploded. we bolted like crazy and we looked back to see a massive smoke cloud coming out of the toilets. so glad we never got caught but never went back there again haha.

Use to do so much other stupid stuff with model rockets and homemade smoke bombs. how i have all my fingers intact i have no idea.

[schnoods]

Big storm in that little tea cup lol.

[Liberator]

Got a few, probably not all that great in comparison to some of these.


Another time, I found a camera my folks had bought me, had no film in it, but the flash still worked.
Went outside at night, hid in the bushes, and as cars would go past we'd use the flash to pretend people got caught... until one car pulled into the next road (the one we lived on), and tried to come looking for us.
we shit ourselves and hid in the neighbours front yard watching as my friend's dad circles the block looking for us.


did the exact same thing except we went 4 blocks away at night in a public bush reserve next to a decently busy road, flashed a guy in a V8 falcon ute , he stopped yelling he had driven threw this road 3 times all within the limit , and that he was going to kill us for " fucking him around " proceeded to walk around the reserve for 10 minuets didnt find us , then drop a few lines in his frustration upon exciting , never ever did it again scared the crap out of us

[5ltrs of fun]

It wasn't the high point of my sexual filanthapy let's give you the hint!

Honestly I think I'd punch you in the face if I had beers with you - it might actually nock some sense into you!

Lol tyson ill pay for the beers keen to see this.

[Sebdullah]

Stopped eating delicious bacon for muslim wife - how did you leave that out?

ok fine...
& booze for a year

was reminded last night

skating related
smashed side on into a moving car
face planted a ledge resulting in my top teeth going through my bottom lip

[PHIL]

raced mini bikes on the weekend and stupidly decided to crash and fracture my left knee cap.

[mr_mike]

awww yea had a few of those , decided in metal work that i was " smarter " then the system , sort of . so i decided to take my lunch token ( pretty much a whole saw cut out Piece of acrylic colored for each day of the week with engraved LSHS ) measure it up and try and replicate one, only found no drill bit to cut it directly out , remembered dad had some at home so i go with borrowed some acrylic started cutting heheh . only thing left to do was engrave the LSHS in it , at this point in life i was a shit engraver , so soon bought one of my mates into my idea to engrave it and 2 days later had about 20 lunch tokens . We waited a week untill it was the right day , and started handing them in for free lunches, thought i was a freaking genies ,
well about 2 days later the canteen caught onto what we were doing when they realized they had more tokens then food and people still trying to hand tokens in . teachers caught on fast and we all got busted metalwork teacher told me it was the best replicas he had seen though haha =)

We done similar in high school but was bus tickets, used to catch Kalamunda Bus Service bus's home and their system was start of the week you would buy a sheet of yellow tickets then tear one of each day for the driver, when my mate got a scanner we decided to make our tickets. So we printed out sheet after sheet of these tickets then on the monday when everyone was lined up for the bus we started selling the sheets to the year 8's. At $14 a sheet we were making a killing. My mate got cold feet and backed out after the first week never got caught for it tho.

Sparkler story. NYE 2001 i think it was we were at a friends place in Thornlie, pretty sure there was a few old skool Antilag and Japspec memebers there. Got a shit load of sparklers and taped them together making a bundle that was at least 200mm in diameter. We then went down to the roe hwy extension that wasnt open yet and under the spencer rd bridge set the bundle down on the road, lit it up and it went of in an awesome super intence ball of fire. Once it was out it had melted a crator about 600mm wide and down to the road base in the freshly laid road.

[YOUR MATE]

Man I used to take the old Kinky Bum Sex busses to school too. I knocked off a pad of tickets and rode free for like a year lol.

[Fukushima]

We put together the mother of all sparkler bombs there would have been near on 100 packets we'd bought back when they were on special 50 cents for a twin pack in a bucket with half of them ground down to powder at the bottom, four cans of butane taped together and filled the top of the bucket with sparklers...

took it down to the beach and dug a little hole for it to stop anything flying at us.

used a sparkler as a fuse, from memory you got about 30-45 seconds to get safely away... lit it and legged it back to the other guys

then we notice a turboprop qantas thingo on approach and realised we'd picked the area of beach right in the flight path of townsville airport

very quick debate it was decided we'd better go back and pull the fuse out... get to within 5 meters and see the powder at the bottom has ignited, start to leg it, everything going in slow mo now plane is coming in quite low and the butane pops sending up a mushroom cloud of lit sparklers and a couple of cans going in different directions... beach is covered in a 50m circle of sparklers and there is a raging fire as whatever was in the bucket burns

plane gives no fucks and goes on to land. the other fun time was when we fired a spud gun at the deputy principles house and then my mates got busted about 30 mins later and threatened with firearms offences not sure how they talked their way out of that one but our best spud gun got confiscated

[Liberator]

We done similar in high school but was bus tickets, used to catch Kalamunda Bus Service bus's home and their system was start of the week you would buy a sheet of yellow tickets then tear one of each day for the driver, when my mate got a scanner we decided to make our tickets. So we printed out sheet after sheet of these tickets then on the monday when everyone was lined up for the bus we started selling the sheets to the year 8's. At $14 a sheet we were making a killing. My mate got cold feet and backed out after the first week never got caught for it tho.



THIS IS so good wish we could do that now hahaha

[Danny w]

Become a drug mule got nailed ended up in jail :(

[SSICK]

hahaha no shit?

[morgazmatron]

All these sparkler stories are bringing back so many memories hahaha

Me and a mate were kind of pyros and made all kids of bombs and shit.. Small of course..

There was a house being built close to us and it was being built over a pool. Guess they ere using it as a basement or something and had the slab over top.. Anyway about a 2L bottle filled with broken up sparklers. After we lit it we thought it would be a good idea to stand about 3m away and watch it.. Yeah not a good idea. Ended up action movie diving out of the way and this whole underground room was full with sparklers everywhere.. Nothing major happened to us but it was a stupid idea.

Made up sparklers and nang bomb/fireworks and blew countless stuff up with them.

Hydrochloric acid and tinfoil in a glass bottle is a stupid

Lighting flares at school also not a good idea

Mates calling up our deputy principle in high school and leaving an abusive message on his answering machine.. Retards.

[Trolley]

Become a drug mule got nailed ended up in jail :(

LOL fair first post!

[Brett_J]

Become a drug mule got nailed ended up in jail :(

LOL, Someone being a wanker?

[SSICK]

Unless they have Internet in the jail....

[Nugs]

Drunk, 3am, on a boat in Croatia, tried to walk on my hands when I have average balance at the best of times.
This was the result
http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff200/BigNVeiny/SailCroatiaAug08321.jpg (http://s240.photobucket.com/user/BigNVeiny/media/SailCroatiaAug08321.jpg.html)

[siladee]

Become a drug mule got nailed ended up in jail :(

ban stick imminent

[DAN [GTI]]

ban stick imminent

http://imageshack.us/a/img11/3499/banhammer.gif

[31-EVO]

One night a mate and I were out cruising near the burswood, spotted a hand bag on the road, doubled back and grabbed it. Had about 35 bucks in it, nothing exciting, spent it all at leach hwy maccas, they took too long to serve us so gave us a heap of free food and the money back. So I spent it on petrol, then we drove into the hills and dumped the bag.
Such a pingpingpingping :(

Another night I'd left Perth at about 3am I hit serpentine and needed a sleep, so I stopped at a little servo that wasnt open and had a power nap. Woke up in dire need of a shit, their toilets said 24/7, thought I was lucky, so many padlocks on the door it wasnt funny, I had no toilet paper or any form of paper. I was turtle necking hard at this stage, so I thought fuck the pingpingpingpings, took a shit on their door mat, wiped my ass with my sock and stuck it to their door.

[Niva]

im starting to think this thread is a bad idea

[YOUR MATE]

Lol Kim, that was you and I again. Had some foreign chicks I.D in it or something? We took the cash as a finders fee for returning the handbag which we threw out the car driving past an address found in the bag. Fucking samaritans.

I have a fuck tonne of sparkler bomb stories but I don't count them as dumb. Use thick glass bottles, pop nangs inside, some of the best wake up calls my neighbours ever got.

Throwing a tiny bottle of food colouring into someone's pool was a bad idea. They were on the hunt for months.

[Poktrokt]

Was a pupil free day back in year 9 and while a few of us were hanging out at Mistikal's place we decided it was a great idea to take his parents merc for a few bog laps in the area and burnouts! This ended with all but myself and another getting locked up in Belmont police station!
Within hours, my mother was called down to collect everyone as another parent actually worked at that station, all the footage disappeared and Andy's patents opted not to press charges :/
Lets say we were all grounded for quite some time lol

[caibs]

i'd be stoked to lose $35 and get my wallet back. fuck a 35 dollar. well played.

[Poktrokt]

Another one was spiking my Mums drink at my 16th and the cops rocked up to her drunk and the only adult while we had set fire to her palm trees, Ambo's arrived after a nasty fight broke out and cars broken into down the street!
I owe my Mum big time!!! I was a pingpingping of a child

[fourseven]

Not much has changed.

[S85FI]

im starting to think this thread is a bad idea

Totally, f*kin funny though.. Lucky most of it was overseas ... LOL...

[31-EVO]

Lol Kim, that was you and I again.

Yeah just didnt want to dump you in it with me in case ppl got butt hurt. Lol

I remember emptying the contents of cat food on and in someone's letterbox in Belmont? On another one of our missions also.

Taking a picture of someone's 'goldrush' and posted it on a forum when it wasnt meant to be in said driveway.....causing major sandy vaginas.

Matt plowing heather...... Fucking good memories man, such a pack of pingpingpingpings though

[racegtst]

1) In 1985 wagged science class when I was 16 or 17 and decided to take my mum's VB Commodore for a spin past school (she was at work).

Single pegged it, lost control and hit a barrier then sideways into a power pole.

everything went quiet and then a almighty loud BANG. The light fell off the power pole and went through the back window.

head master helped move the car of the road into the car park and called my mum, they decided that she will deal with me.

Went to the quacks as I had a sore neck but all was ok.

Got grounded for months and my punishment was that mum claimed insurance and bought a VH commodore that cost $3k more than insurance payout and I had to pay back every cent. Still better than a record.

2) When i had my license my mate and I were rally driving my Bluebird along a Murray river bush track and was going a bit quick into a 90 degree turn slid it backwards into the river.

Had a 2 hour walkback to town to get his car to tow mine out. Took it home and left the door open for a week to dry out. Even tracked this car at Winton twice in sprints.

3) Had a 81 Celica with a towbar and thought I would be smart and use it to put the ski boat in the river at the boat ramp. going in was ok. Coming out was a pingpingpingping as the car slide back into the water.

Got towed out, had to drain the fuel tank and replace the motor. FML. Also used this car for sprints at Winton and Sandown after this event.

4) was bush shooting with my uncle. Learnig to shoot a over/under double barrel and the pingpingpingping tells me to pull both triggers at the same time. This resulted in a sore shoulder for months and a bruised tail bone and it landed me fair and square on my back.

5) shooting related to above was following a bird between trees and my uncle said hust follow and when you think you have a shot take it. The bird dipped right in front of his car and I tool out his front fender. so focused on the bird I didn't see the car. Uncle was very pissed at me.

[Evman]

Was a pupil free day back in year 9 and while a few of us were hanging out at Mistikal's place we decided it was a great idea to take his parents merc for a few bog laps in the area and burnouts!

Used to stay at a cousin's place during school holidays and whilst his Mum/my Aunty was at work we'd take the car and go to Scarborough. I think we'd have been year 8, maybe year 9? If I caught myself doing it now I'd beat some sense into me. Felt baller at the time

[31-EVO]

Haha I drove my car to school in year twelve, only had my l's, completely forgot my coordinators husband was the senior pingpingpingpingstable, I had an irate police officer on my doorstep the next morning. He let me off, but subsequently took my licence from me one year later. Was also a right pingpingpingping about it.
Ps might I add re thinking my past is making me all warm and fuzzy inside

[Evman]

The bird dipped right in front of his car and I tool out his front fender. so focused on the bird I didn't see the car. Uncle was very pissed at me.

Shooting needs very good spatial awareness lol

[bgtx3]

Was home alone one day a couple years back. House mates and girlfriend were at work and after a sly spliff and a thrash on the drums I look out at the back lawn and had an awesome idea.
Both my and my house mates dogs were puppies at the time and I thought to myself "how funny would it be to take a big shit on the lawn?! The other guys will think I was one of the puppies and be like Oh my god look at the size of that shit! Which dog did that?""

I grab a bog roll, find I good spot and squat for the punch line.
Quite impressed with my effort I cleaned my self up and went about my day.
Hours later I come home, waiting for the gossip of the monster shit "one of the dogs did"..
Nothing...
My girlfriend mentions in passing, "Elliot, our dogs been throwing up...
I head to the spot of my squat.
Nothing... No turd, no little after nuggets, nothing..
I asked her where he'd thrown up. Sure enough there's my half digested, regurgitated shit.
I told my girlfriend "don't let sniper kiss you he's been eating shit"
Two weeks later I fronted up and told her it was mine. The housies thought it was funny as hell.
She however did not.
We are now married.
She rocks.
We still call the dog shit-lips.

[31-EVO]

Poo stories are the best!!! I hope I never grow up.

One night we were at some hippies birthday in subiaco, we walked into the house, knowing no body there. Snuck into the fridge saw cake, got told it was hash cake, we enhilated this whole cake, feeling no effect we hung out and drank their piss. Sitting there, some fucken bob Marley hat wearing mother fucker comes out and yells ' who ate all the birthday cake' (wasnt a hash cake at all)

FUCK, bail. On the way out we hung out at a fancy kids park, fully gated etc. I laid a bait on a sea saw and then stomped the other end and sent said bait flying into some chicks hair. She was very upset about her new corn do. That was a long night, a mate ended up finding a car unlocked in a holden used car yard and slept there....after throwing up all over the front interior

[S85FI]

This thread is nothing but laughs....

Something about people that love things that run on fuel.... Imagine the same convo's on a socially accepted threat...

I bet a few have cracked and got a few tears from laughing and if not, RiCey's poo story certainly would...

[bgtx3]

This thread is nothing but laughs....

Something about people that love things that run on fuel.... Imagine the same convo's on a socially accepted threat...

I bet a few have cracked and got a few tears from laughing and if not, RiCey's poo story certainly would...

riCey's poo story deserves publishing.
And an award!!!
http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/uu155/ELS-EL/s11e9_zps81262c91.jpg
http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/uu155/ELS-EL/images_zps5e3d0e66.jpg
http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/uu155/ELS-EL/south-park-season-11-9-more-crap-randy_zpsb238c6cd.jpg
http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/uu155/ELS-EL/MoreCrap10_zpsd6161ae5.jpg

[Yakky Bear]

Joe needs to re tell his poo story from his trip to U. A. E

[YOUR MATE]

Yeah just didnt want to dump you in it with me in case ppl got butt hurt. Lol

I remember emptying the contents of cat food on and in someone's letterbox in Belmont? On another one of our missions also.

Taking a picture of someone's 'goldrush' and posted it on a forum when it wasnt meant to be in said driveway.....causing major sandy vaginas.

Matt plowing heather...... Fucking good memories man, such a pack of pingpingpingpings though

Wow when it's all condensed down like that those few years we ran together really make us seem like right pingpingpingpings. Stealing gnomes and defacing things at Gnomeville should make the list. There were families there, man.. haha.

Cat food girl deserved everything she got. Not dumb.
Posting up pics of someone with a mrs parked at the girl he's cheating on her withs place was really not our brightest idea. I honestly think I sent that someone on a self destructive path they wouldn't of otherwise. Seriously attribute drug use to the repercussions from that night.

[joshg123]

There is dumb shit, and dog acts........

[YOUR MATE]

There is dumb shit, and dog acts........

Cheating is more of a dog act than being pinged for it imo.

[INSINR8R]

Posting up pics of someone with a mrs parked at the girl he's cheating on her withs place was really not our brightest idea. I honestly think I sent that someone on a self destructive path they wouldn't of otherwise. Seriously attribute drug use to the repercussions from that night.

That was fucking hilarious. Seeing everything that culminated from that made it well worth it. The cheated's mum came up to me when I worked at The Flying Scotsman and asked if I knew anyone who could have him killed...

Also, said guy is now an emo-fag. He looks like an anorexic Nikki Sixx.

[joshg123]

Cheating is more of a dog act than being pinged for it imo.

I agree, no time for it. However dumb shit is something you can laugh about with mates hence the thread.... IMO sending someone on a drug spiral or self destructive path doesnt fall into the same catagory.

Maybe i'm just looking at it wrong.

[YOUR MATE]

Haha fair call. I can't say we're the definitive reason. Maybe he was a really bad fuck? But I've always been a bit raw about that. But yeah, maybe not something for this thread. The rest of the shit we got up to seems at home here.

I notice that there is a lot of common things like playing with acid, spud guns, bombs and the like. I thought I was just some pyro terror child but I guess it's just normal. Yank kids play with fireworks, we just make our own. Also whoever mentioned shooting the spud gun from a car, have been in a car when my mate did the same. Lucky the windows were down because the pop and blast was enormous. Quickly got the fuck out of there.

I'd also rate the time I got done racing on a cruise as dumb as I failed to notice the cop car literally the car behind me at the lights. I won and no hoon law, luckily. But double or nothing is fucked and I felt like the biggest muppet getting drilled by these cops for like an hour on the side of the road.

[INSINR8R]

A while ago when I had the Clubby, I was driving along Beaufort St heading towards Morley after finishing work for the night. Had a friend driving next to me and were being a little silly, cue slowing down, back into 1st and foot to the floor...

...sideways past about 15 cops and 6 police cars on the side of the road near a park where they were investigating some shit that had gone down in the park. Cue the "ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit's" and get pulled over by two of them. Both me and my friend ready to lose cars when one cop says he knows me and that I'm not a shit head, not to do it again while the other is saying they're too busy to fuck around with getting tow trucks out and to behave.

Left the Clubby parked up and headed back to the Scotto to pick up my wallet I'd left behind. Got back about 30 mins and cops were gone. Drove like nanna's all the way back to mate's house.

Plenty of other shenanigans involving cars but none as stupid as that.

Trying to evict a few bikies from Kalamunda Pub on my own as the other bouncer hadn't shown up for work was quite dumb. I hold my own but these guys weren't little and my adrenaline pumping hard didn't help the situation. They eventually left and not long after that, we lost the contract to supply security there.

Setting fire to a bag full of deodorant cans out in the bush near school back in Year 9. Waiting about half an hour then hear these few massive bangs.

[n1ghth4wk]

On a cruise through some twisty chicane areas for a 20min leg doing a rather large amount over the whole time. Pull up for a red light. Someone proceeds to do a burnout a couple of cars in front. Lights go green. A hundred flashing lights appear from the car that has been following me the whole time. Undercover cops. My heart stops. MFW he chases and pulls over the burnout car.

[duste]

Is this the dumb shit you have done, or the dumb shit you have witnessed thread?

[Trolley]

It's the mid 90's, Year 11 and our school river cruise is coming up. A friend and I decide we would take trips on the night. Told another couple of friends (who were girlfriend/boyfriend AND school prefects) and they wanted to join us. It was up to me to supply them. Coincidentally we had new student come into the school only a few months prior and he could get his hands on "white tiles" and another trip that now escapes me. He wasn't attending the cruise, so on the way to Barrack Street I popped into his work (fast food joint on William Street in the city) and pick them up. He puts them at the bottom of the bag of my order and I proceed to walk down to the jetty and meet my friends. We walk off out of sight, pop the tabs under our tongues and wait for psychedelia to ensue. We dance the night away, manage to not raise any suspicions, and I even had a lengthy conversation with the deputy principal in the upstairs part of the boat. All while my best mate was sitting nearby giggling at nothing while looking out the window. That was a fairly intense moment and a memory that sticks with me. The cruise comes to an end, we disembark and wait for our parents. While the four of us are standing around talking to each other, a Year 10 student (combined cruise) comes bounding up to us and said rather fucking loudly "are you guys on trips?!". Fucking EGGHEAD. All of a sudden we felt half a dozen sets of parents eyes just glare at our group. Brown pants moment #1

The day after we had an Interschool swimming carnival at another venue and the deputy principal who I was speaking to last night grabs me from the stands and says he wants to have a chat. He proceeds to tell me that he had a phone call first thing that morning from a concerned parent. Concerned that I was supplying drugs to other students. Right then I got that warm feeling in the bottom of my guts and that moist feeling at the end of my anus. Moist brown pants moment #2

It turns out that the female friend in our group got home and subsequently had a panic attack through the night (it was her first time taking acid). She told her parents everything. Despite me knowing the parents well, they still threw me in it. DOH!

Two days after the cruise we all found ourselves in the principal's office to discuss the issue. Straight off the bat she states that the Police have been involved. Brown pants moment #3. At this stage I'm physically sweating and feel like I'm going to puke. I'm shaking like Michael J Fox using a jackhammer. While she was tearing us new arseholes, she kept using the term "river trips". "There may be no more river trips in the future". "We may have to ban river trips" blah blah blah. We were all trying so hard to stifle our laughter. By the end of the roasting I ended up having to rat out the new student to the school. It turns out that he was expelled from his previous school for dealing drugs and both the Principal and her deputy immediately suspected him. He got expelled, I avoided expulsion and got suspended for a week (for supplying my mates) and the other three got suspended for 2 days. Oh, the boyfriend/girlfriend got their prefect status' removed also. I felt so bad. I was banned from going over to said friends' houses for months after until our parents decided to all have a meeting one day, discuss it all and have me win back their trust.

The months after sucked, but to this day that night was one of the most memorable nights as a youngster :D

[TJ]

Imagine if you had the technology now back then, could of videoed it and put it on youtube!

[Trolley]

haha fuck off

ps. I could have :p

[mav_vlt]

can't really recall any really stupid things.
did perth-wickham in about 13.5 hours which wasn't a bad effort
melb-perth we did in very good time also, i'd have to ask my mate and see if he recalls, was in a rb26dett equipped 32 gts-4
kal-perth in 4 hours 20 mins.

I go to uni up in Kal so always comming back to Perth. 4hrs and 20min is a pretty average time these days :/

[Bomber]

Gin Gin to Muchae in 8 minutes....

[kyle_340]

in bali a few years ago, went to some island and a cruise boat. where the boat setup for the day, there was a marked off area in the water for where it was safe to snorkel, but me having the attention span of a ferret on ice, got distracted and didnt listen to the guy telling us where it was safe to swim.

so im snorkeling along, all of a sudden i come up to this cone with a net thing attached to it....didnt think anything of it so just went over it and kept swimming out.
im out there, in my own little world when all of a sudden i feel something bump into my head. i stop swimming, look up, it was the side of a boat driving past with a bunch of balinese guys yelling at me to get back to my boat.

if i was a metre farther forward....that boat woulda gone straight over my back :eek:

[Fukushima]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PHSJCMkUa9Y

relevant to thread... not me

[mr_mike]

is that you?

[JBAE]

OK off the top of my head.... the following is may or may not be factual.... and if so most would have occurred in early/mid teens.

*Burning the dump of ours on the old sheep station we had.... throwing a fuck load of aerosol cans in there I found... explosions and missiles followed.

*Crashing a motor bike in a clay pan at 60/70Kph after hitting good old poly pipe while chasing a feral cat, somehow I don't know how ended up standing on my feet in the middle of it in a epic cloud of dust with a slight graze of my knee nothing more go figure.

*shooting steel plate with .270 Winchester from a few hundred metres one of the plates was from some old drill equipment so not sure what it was but it was enough to throw the proji back in the direction it came from and kick up some dust in the very very near vicinity... pucker factor.

*possibly Blew myself up with an aerosol can (canola oil) and a hammer resulting in a ball of flames nearing spud height... 2nd degree burns to lower legs.

*perth to Mandurah run back in the day religiously nearing the 200kph mark. dick move.

*Pissed on a chicks box in a car park, she then had to get back in my car FML.

*What started out as "sandbagging" which is throwing a plastic white road works sand bag from a moving car at objects mainly being sulo bins at great speed 160kph plus (would punch straight throw 5 bins like a shotgun at times) escalated to bagging phone booths.... bus stops etc that escalated to using cinder blocks which would nuke what ever they hit. this then escalated to using Pig melons to go "bowling" for coons along the forshore... driving around in a 4wd with 30/40 pig melons as ammo... nothing suss at all.

*Crop dusting/pepperspraying people on still nights with dry chem fire extinguishers along the forshore. "it burns... it burns..".

*used to carry carby cleaner around in my car as an anti-boong device.. one night on the Mandurah foreshore parked up across the road from where the old servo used to be (a gull I think) one dick mate found it and proceeded to use it as a flame thrower... caught fire wouldn't extinguish rolled to near under my car so I nailed it soccer styles and sent the fuckker flying gracefully through the air only issue is it came of the side of the boot and landed in the gull... we shat legged it to cars and off on the way out some homeless fcuk sho witnessed the event jumped out infront of my car all ooga booga styles like a fucking cave man lol yelling some shit and trying to prevent our escape.... ke35rolls > homeless guy.


*Got hit by a car not looking where I was going fcuking ran out in a set of lights was weird travelled with the car... awkward moment when landing back on the ground on feet lootkin at driver... ran off.

*been run over by a car like twice?

*instigating burn outs in a mates car in a certain authorities carpark....set of tyres later.

*tec screws and saw dust in same carpark... driveway.. about 10 boxes of fluro lights aswell.... every glass bottle we could get our hands used to go there also.

*Killed a hydraulic press after being instructed to punch a hole in some steel... (turns out it was bisalloy) god aweful BANG bured the block I spose you could say into the presses bed... punch bit exploded but thank fuck lodged into the steel I was trying to punch.

*kinda set fire to a lathe... machine Ti bed ended up chockas with titanium in the form of glorified steel wool being a dick got it too hot and Le POOF she went up lol

*Ran over a sheep on a bike.... (sheep at times will drop to the ground in like a fear response manner) when mustering fuckker hit it like a big wooly mogul... ate shit... sheep gets up like fuck all happened and trots off.

*Hit a cow on a Quad LOL more funny than anything cow some how lost? knocked its ass over.

*Aunty hates snakes... killed (lol) a dugite and proceeded to chase her with the reptile... ended up throwing it at her.... got in the shit as I think it turned out it wasn't completely dead.

*Kinda got into a fight with a kangaroo. I won... got bitten.

*removed top rail off a balcony in a night club in Mandurah with fist.... nearly cleaning up bouncers below.... never been so close to being fist raped in my life... thank fuck fuck for a large crowd of mates to disappear into.

*may or may have not molested a vehicle infront of a dick mate with a camera.

*Chasing another feral cat on a bike in sand... lost my shit a little thrown from the seat to hanging over the rear (super man styles) while still having a grip on the handle bars.. pinning the throttle... became a passenger for the next 40-60 metres.

*Cut an 06 lancer in half removing the engine on one swift move and the use of a tree or 3... torn PCL... Torn muscle in right arm... broke bones in right arm.... really should have died possibly wasn't obeying a lot of road rules.

*Threw a pushbike infront of a semi one night drunk...biggest sparkly rooster tail ive ever seen! dick move.... last scene I remember..(dick move)
woke up next day unable to feel the out side of my left hand and 2 outer fingers.


*Nearly killed a co-worker with a sledge hammer.. working oppiste to each other pounding on some BHA both had new hammers... swinging like a baseball bat as hard as possibly could head comes flying off literally missing him and his face by centimetres and hitting the ball 10-15m behind him.


there is a lot more... just skimming from the top of my head atm as im bored.

[MirKz]

Speaking of Tec Screws...

Fitting approx 7 or so tec screws to the soles of my motorcycle boots one day and then going out everywhere, Roe Hwy, Tunnel etc, on group rides and by myself, skitching down the road, sparks and shit flying everywhere.
One guy on a group ride cracked shits a bit, for throwing crap up behind me at his bike. Boots never lasted long doing that :/

Crashing my bike zx10 out front of the windsor one cold night, damp road + cold tyres and a mate who got all butt hurt over a girl that night caused us to leave a little quickly.
The dumb part was riding it home before all the oil leaked out. 150-200 down the fwy in anger... cloud of oil spitting out behind me at the 2 mates who followed me to make sure I got home.
Stop at a set of lights before turning right. Mate starts yelling at me to look at my tyre. Had a look and it was coated in oil. Was lucky I didn't go for a whoopsie #2.

[JBAE]

Oh yeh! got naked once and lost in perth... broke into a house I thought was mine.... kicked front door in after apologising saying I lost my keys and will pay for door in morning.... kick door in... two azn women huddled in the corner of this lounge one in the foetal position the other just standing on one leg screaming... BOOM instantly sober cup junk and balls flee across the road... cops lights blaring coming wave them down... tell them "I think I just broke into that house"... they go "yeh we know that's why we are here".

get paddy wagoned... still naked.... on way home was like a 15min trip so I covered a good bit of ground! stoped confiscated someones bike proceeded to put that in the wagon with me also... proceed to laugh at me (I see thin through the little window in the back) low point achieved!... get back to my residence explain that im going to have to break in to my place... break in (still naked) open door for cops.. wake parro house mate cops ask if I belong here nods yup like im a stray dog being returned again ahahah didn't even bat an eye lid...

never heard a thing more from it.... lucky I didn't hit the wrong house and get smashed.

[Niva]

Had sex with my ex lastnight.

mistake

[JBAE]

Bitch took yo fridge? you give her yo dick? nigga pwease!!! give her the KNIFE!!!

[duste]

Had sex with my ex lastnight.

mistake

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[YOUR MATE]

Post pics to rectify it Niva?

Some vast distances covered in short times I see. I thought Belmont to Eaton in just over an hour in my Senator was pushing it. Back in the days before the new highway, midnight in the rain. Pales in comparison.

[Phyber]

relevant to thread... not me




Jesus Christ. Squeal like a pig, boy! HHRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



Now to share on facebook.

[Niva]

Post pics to rectify it Niva?



Im not gonna post pics of my ex

chick on the side though, sure why not. post in here and kill 2 birds with 1 stone

http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j152/jhoskisson/1367241399555_zps933b0967.jpg (http://s79.photobucket.com/user/jhoskisson/media/1367241399555_zps933b0967.jpg.html)

[31-EVO]

You best have not got her preggers son

[Niva]

from the lack of children in my life calling me Dad, ive actually come to the conclusion that im shooting blanks. winning

[S85FI]

from the lack of children in my life calling me Dad, ive actually come to the conclusion that im shooting blanks. winning

Or not long enough to penetrate and seed??

[Liberator]

from the lack of children in my life calling me Dad, ive actually come to the conclusion that im shooting blanks. winning

nearly fell of my chair mate in tears!

[S85FI]

Chainsaw again today - out in the bush and there is this perfect log on it's side about 500mm in diameter stuck on a hill about 8m high.

I figured if I cut the fork out of the tree I should be able to push this bad boy down and just trim away at it, next to the ute at the bottom of the hill.

Start the cut, all good, half way through it, all good, 3/4 way through it I can hear the fork creaking and starting to give. A bit more into the cut and I notice small grains of sand rolling down the hill.

Situation awareness senses kick in and I shut down the saw. I hear the tree creaking but the creak sounds far bigger than the fork.

I play it safe and walk down the hill and before you know it there is a snap! and the sand gives and I'm piss bolting down this hill with chainsaw in tow... and the log quickly gaining on me...

Log lands a couple of metres short of the 4x4.... I love it when a plan comes together....

[Niva]

Or not long enough to penetrate and seed??

Cant argue with results!

[S85FI]

HAHA...

As long as your happy - life is good.

[Nugs]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PHSJCMkUa9Y

relevant to thread... not me
Have done similar, after going to a wrestling show at the entertainment centre we were maggot wandering through the city doing sumb wrestling shit and throwing each other into stuff. Got whipped upside into a spiky bush and was picking needles out of my skin for the rest of the week.

[RICEY]

Had a mate with a kidney issue requiring him to insert tubes into his willy each night and drain the urine. He had a bag full of tubes and little tubes of lube.

One day I decided to smash this lube all over my willy and the girlfriend's (at the time) beaver for some super slippery fun times. (That's what I told her, reality was I cbf with foreplay)

It was great for about 1 minute (I lasted much longer than normal) then everything went numb. I didn't realise the lube was also an anesthetic. Kinda made sense when I thought about it.

Hindsight.

[Risk10k]

I bought one of those magnum condoms once, fucking got lost in it :/

[Gleeso]

I bought one of those magnum condoms once, fucking got lost in it :/

They actually make regular sized Magnum branded condoms to boost the ego of the purchaser. I'm sure you accidentally purchased the extra large ones.

[VZ_V8]

My old man owns a panel shop and I was there all the time when I was young watching him work etc. Wanting to be like him, I found a hammer and proceeded to belt the side of my mums car.

[Risk10k]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CGwibPdEOVk#!


So its not me, got to be someone who has done worse!

[jez321]

They actually make regular sized Magnum branded condoms to boost the ego of the purchaser. I'm sure you accidentally purchased the extra large ones.

I acually bought some extra large condoms by acedent once and i swear they were tighter than normal ones, ego boost much?

[Mistikal]

Was a pupil free day back in year 9 and while a few of us were hanging out at Mistikal's place we decided it was a great idea to take his parents merc for a few bog laps in the area and burnouts! This ended with all but myself and another getting locked up in Belmont police station!
Within hours, my mother was called down to collect everyone as another parent actually worked at that station, all the footage disappeared and Andy's patents opted not to press charges :/
Lets say we were all grounded for quite some time lol

Don't know what you are talking about...

Doing skids in the E23 735i on a pupil-free day, been driving it around the area for majority of the day. It wouldn't sit brake for some reason - usually did. Did a few donuts in the local community centre carpark, thought it'd be a great idea to rev the tits off it in N for NANGNANGNANGNANG and drop D... didn't like it too much, gearbox was forever stuck in 2nd gear from that point on. Managed to drive it back home with "council security" following, video taped everything. As stated, no charges laid as I took the rap for the whole lot (rightfully so!).


Another one was spiking my Mums drink at my 16th and the cops rocked up to her drunk and the only adult while we had set fire to her palm trees, Ambo's arrived after a nasty fight broke out and cars broken into down the street!
I owe my Mum big time!!! I was a pingpingping of a child

Ah yes, I remember that; sitting around the bonfire in your back garden with a few other people, carton of coldies in the esky under my chair and a bottle of Jim's finest next to me - nek minut there are paramedics coming through the yard to treat someone. I proceed to stand up, nearly fall face-first into the 44-gallon drum, stumble back to my feet and gain balance, paramedics freeze and look straight at me... cue poker face "wat?". How we didn't get locked up that night is beyond me.

[Scaf]

When i was a kid, running down my uncles driveway tripped and landed teeth first into the paving. Smashed both front teeth put and knocked my yet to come through adult teeth out of alignment.

Took my brakes off my roller blades, pulled them on my feet and stood up. Slipped straight on my arse, literally thought i was paralyzed as i couldn't move for about 20 minutes. Roller blades went in the bin.

Ran from the cops full light and sirens in my Rodeo on a skinny gravel track with a mate in the tray holding a loaded gun after being spotted shooting on private property. Would have seen jail time for that one.

Basically stealing a mates SSS Pulsar he had bought that day and taking it for a spin after a house party one night, ended up sliding it into a tree stump and writing it off. Made him pay for the tilt tray home.

Agreeing to buy Matts (Cuctus) dads 355 to put in my mint VS Clubsport, 4 years later its still not finished.

Kukerin Mud racing 2012, rode shotgun in my mates mud racer. Guy doesn't know how to back off and held it pinned up the bank. Rolled and did a full rotation before landing on its roof right on my head - no rollcage. It hurt.

Kukerin Mud racing 2013, declined a ride again with said mate. He rolled it, then for some fucking stupid reason i decided to ride shotgun for the second race with no front windscreen. Told me he would take it easy so i didn't wear a harness, yet again he just pins it instantly loses vision after a load on mud to the face. We roll and i swing around like a rag doll because of no seat belt. It hurt.

Plus may other BMX, Motorbike and Bush bomb stories.

I don't learn.

[mr_mike]

i really believe its pure luck that 90% of Antilag isnt dead or locked up, and not for vehicle related charges eaither!!

[Trolley]

It was great for about 1 minute (I lasted much longer than normal) then everything went numb. I didn't realise the lube was also an anesthetic. Kinda made sense when I thought about it.

LOL. Could only imagine how far the heart would have sank if she said "I can't feel anything!"

[Buckas]

oh god id forgotten about most stuff until this thread. I don't know how i've stayed out of hospital and how most of us are still alive.

some of the chainsaw stories bring back memories.

My family has a tree farm in toodyay. When the drought hit a whole bunch of the trees died. Instead of cutting them down we rammed them with the sierra because they were so rotten and they fall over so easilly. I took a decent runup for a bigger tree thinking it'd make an awesome base for the bonfire. Turns out it wasn't completely dead yet. The car stopped dead, completely took out the front bumper (lucky the radiator is set so far back). Was barely recovering from the hit (we never wear seatbelts there) when the top third or so of the tree, which was dead, dropped on our heads.

I decided I was gonna win so hooked the tow rope up to the back and took off. Snapped my tow rope in half. Went back with the chainsaw and won.

Recently with another member on here Tikki, chopped the tree in the backyard down because the bees in it stung my dog and cost me a trip to the vet. Standing in the tree while cutting it down. I blame him for not pulling hard enough, first branch takes out the gutter of the house. Didn't learn, second branch took out the fence. Handing him a chainsaw for the first time ever was also a dumb thing ive done, he got a bit carried away.

Still not learning, trimmed a branch at my mum's house while leaning out from the roof holding on to something with one hand, extended single hand holding the chainsaw in the other. When the branch dropped it went straight through her decking underneath. I also dropped the chainsaw, flailed at it and got my fingers jammed between the motor and guard. I suppose the burn was better than the potential cut.


Got a scholarship to one of the perth private schools in year 8. In the first couple of weeks jokingly with another guy asked one of the year 11's if he could get us some booze and weed over the school email. Turns out they were both being legit and we all got pulled into the deputy head's office. Got my scholarship threatened, parents werent very impressed. Worst Asian ever

[S85FI]

Kukerin Mud racing

Didn't know it still was held.

Went in it years ago, with a chopped up VW beetle. VN v6. Was doing wheel stands all over the joint... stupidly fast. All good to go on the day, didn't make 20m. Snapped cv joints on start line.

[S85FI]

Just bought my EB Fairmont back in 93. Thought the 4.0lt was a machine. Had a LX SLR (Genuine) and used to go to Parry's car park alot. (Freo).

Driving out , some dude bagged my car at the exit point. He had a Holden. I said, "this thing will kick your ass even in reverse". He said "bullshit", I said "first one to the top of the car park from here on the count of three".

I nailed it in reverse and did one of those reverse 180 spins and slammed it in forward and the car was perfect in the bay at the top. Feeling pretty good about myself until the ops watching the whole thing walked up to the car..... and said " give me one good reason why I shouldn't throw the book at you" I said, haven't got on and it was a pretty dumb thing to do". Got a Yellow for "throttle peddle issues" and a careless driving fine. It was pretty dumb in a almost full carpark.

[Tocchi]

got very drunk at the movies, got back to my mates, the vomit was coming up, and there was only carpet, and no way i could make it anywhere.
so my shirt became my bucket ... i lifted the bottom of the shirt up and yeah still wearing the shirt... worked very well to contain all the vomit.

i'd like to say this happened a very long time ago, but im pretty certain it was about 11pm last night haha.

[DISTRBD]

i really believe its pure luck that 90% of Antilag isnt dead or locked up, and not for vehicle related charges eaither!!

LOL i did have a magistrate tell me that next time i was infront of him to bring my toothbrush :/

[fuzzmeisterr]

Put my WB backwards into a ditch cutting sick on a gravel road on my way to a party at a farm when I was 17. ended up about half a meter away from going over a 6m drop. + rolled Tyre of the rim, then realized I didn't have my spare in the back. - Luckily a Mate was driving past about 15 mins later (had no phone reception where I was). we proceeded to drive half hour round trip to get a spare. Got 2km up the road and that burst.
Limped the ute the last K to the party with Tyre slapping rear guard.

Exploded a rim/Tore the back off the diff/Bent an axle in my AU being a dumb pingpingpingping trying to sling it on a roundabout.

Both the above happened while 'riverside' by sidney samson was playing, that song is now banned when I'm driving.

Threw up out the window of the car of some chick whom I'd just met. then at BP while she was filling up.



Drove stupidly tired, Fell asleep numerous times behind the wheel towing a car trailer (didn't crash luckily) - Out on the piss till 2:30 on a Thursday night, Up at 6, work until 12:30. go home to sort shit out to head to Bunbury to pick up car, have a blue with the old boy, go for drive to clear my head. end up driving a 4 hour round trip. have a couple of beers, finish sorting my shit out. me and my bro hook trailer up and end up leaving at around 11:30. Get to bunbury around 7:30 Sat morning, load up the car, back to perth to unload the car to get tuned, run some errands for my bros missus. decide to drive back to Gero at 2:30 Saturday arvo. neither of us had fuck all sleep. How we didn't crash is beyond me. At one point I recall waking up halfway onto the wrong side of the road as a cars been overtaking me.

[d1mitch]

is everyone else reading this thread almost as a checklist saying "yep done that" "and that" "and that" then questioning how i am still here lol.

[Gleeso]

Edit: Post was too long...I had time to pass.

In short, worked hard, didn't eat lunch. Got really drunk on an empty stomach. Tequila shots with JD chasers, yeehaaa! Got home around 4:30, woke up around 8:30-9:00ish to a phone call regarding parts I was meant to pick up and I was a little late. Get up immediately, shower, then off I go. Realise how drunk I still am not long after being on the road. Continue to drive to Joondalup (from Munster), abiding no speed limits, make it there, and drive the same style back. Thankfully there were no speed cameras, otherwise the trip would've cost me a fuckload more.

Moments after getting home I puke blood. Couldn't eat for two days.

[huggy_b]

got very drunk at the movies, got back to my mates, the vomit was coming up, and there was only carpet, and no way i could make it anywhere.
so my shirt became my bucket ... i lifted the bottom of the shirt up and yeah still wearing the shirt... worked very well to contain all the vomit.

i'd like to say this happened a very long time ago, but im pretty certain it was about 11pm last night haha.

Done similar, big night on the sauce sleeping at my mates gf's house in the spare room so unfamiliar territory. Started feeling it all coming up, hunted around the spare room in the dark cos I couldn't find the light switch and all I could find was a plate that had some pizza on that I ate before sleeping. Vomited all over the plate and it cascaded onto all their washing piled up in the corner.

Wasn't a very welcome guest after that. :p

[adrenalin]

Leaving highschool to go get pizza hut at lunch time. Left car park sideways in wet then had to do a u - turn which i also went sideways around and was fish tailing down the road a lil bit. Got pulled over by a n undercover cop and my mate got dragged out of the back and was accused of flipping the cop off. Anyway somehow managed to talk my way out of not getting a fine.

Get back to school walking in with a pizza box in hand only to get asked where i got it from. Didnt believe me when i said "mum dropped it off" and was banned from driving to school for the week and scored detention all week as well.

[Skitzo]

Got arrested in Thailand for entering the wrong hotel room in the middle of the night......from the Balcony. Top floor of the Patong Beach Hotel.

http://www.sbyphuket.com/hotel/phuket/patong/patongbeach_hotel_files/view58.jpg

Ten stories up. Quite intoxicated. Can see that there is an angled wall between balconies. Lucky i didn't fall to my death. Lucky i didn't get charged.

Can comfortably say this was the scariest moment of my life.

[d1mitch]

i used to go to tafe in leederville, on melbopurne cup day we were at tafe as normal but decided it would be much more fun to be at leedy for the rest of the day/night . off we went and proceeded to get absolutely spastic drunk. after i walked out about 10:00 i decided i didnt want to leave my skyline parked on the street beside tafe all night so it seemed like a great idea to drive home could barely see or walk so driving was obviously a great idea.
on the way down the freeway some knobhead kept trying to race me and being blind drunk it was a good idea to keep chopping him in the end i was running the freeway bouncing off 180km/h speed limiter. somehow made it to joondalup without dying or getting caught. then i think it is a good idea to find more shit to do, or more importantly find some female company.
i end up in edgewater doing massive kerb to kerb drifties all the way up some road until i go a bit wide on one link drift across someones lawn/garden which then ruins the setup for the next link which is lined up perfectly with one of those concrete kerb storm water drains. hit it side on and break my rim severely, somehow the tyre still holds air so im still good to go. continue on my quest to find females lol

i dont remember much more of the night and there is probably more that happened in between the events i do remember but i made it home in one piece with no other damage than the broken rim. i would never drive that drunk again.